Dads: A gay couple's surrogacy journey in India Read Online Free PDF Page A

Oddly, it is the so called “feminists” who protest most loudly, thus upholding male supremacy just a little longer.
    If I were a communist and ended up on the same side of the argument with the religious right, I'd stop in my tracks and find out what I was doing…
    Alex and I haven't met our surrogate yet, so we don't know who the amazing woman is who will provide us with a child and our parents with a grandchild, but I can already guarantee you, that in my book, she'll be the biggest hero ever, and that I'll forever hold her in the highest regard for the gift she gives us. A debt we'll never be able to repay…

 

May 23, 2012: Today is a good day!!!
     
    Dear child!
     
    Ever had a day when you feel like you SHOULD buy a lottery ticket?
    Well, today certainly qualifies…
    Yesterday, we got the results of our sperm tests and they are okay! *yeah*
    Today, my doctor provided me with the result of my blood work and everything checks out! *yeah*
    So I've sent in the application documentation (with all the copies of a gazillion documents they need) and now I wait… EXCITING!
    I guess you have no idea what I felt like when I sat in my investor's meeting today and all of a sudden saw the e-mail from my physician telling me that all things looked okay, that all blood tests had come back negative (basically meaning I'm healthy)
    It's not that you don't expect it, because, at my age you do have a “hum” of what your body feels like when sick, but it was still a relief. This isn't ME deciding whether I'm fit for fight, but the people at the clinic in Mumbai (who by the way have been outstanding in their support so far).
    So hopefully, over the coming days, your dad and I will be able to “pick” the other half of your DNA from a catalogue (not something I really look forward to, because it feels odd) and then I guess we even get to choose a surrogate. I'm not quite up to speed on that yet.
    Once that is done, the clinic will need to synchronize the cycles of the two ladies so that ovulation and the right time to implant the fertilized egg into the surrogate happens at just the right moment. For now, I'm just exhilarated and happy…

 

May 24, 2012: The bureaucracy of becoming a parent...
     
    Today is a good day for a headache… While yesterday was a good day, today it is just after lunch and I'm already suffering from a bad headache. I've sent in all the paperwork (or so I thought) to the surrogacy agency yesterday. This morning, I contacted them to find out how long it would take to process the papers and get access to the database to select the egg donor and surrogate, not to mention some other questions we have.
    Then it started, there was a whole flood of e-mails back and forth and we had to resend some of the documents because they were bad or missing. The problem with cross-cultural things like this is part terminology, part vocabulary.
    The word family to me means something completely different than what it does in India (or what I perceive it does in India). For instance, the agency wanted us to send photos of us and our family to them (for what I don't know) as well as our house. We had no clue why. But alas, I did.
    Then, there are things they asked for which I have no idea what they were talking about. E.g. Income statement.  Say again? Every country has its own rules and regulations and to me, an income statement means nothing. I hope they'll accept our latest tax statements. Being self-employed, you usually don't have anyone who can provide you with an income statement.
    But what really bothers me with all these requirements is the “why” of it. Allow me to exemplify:
    As a gay couple, we cannot become parents as a couple. I have to do so as a single parent, yet they still want my husband's blood work. I have no idea why. After all, I just told them I am healthy like a horse, and it's my sperm they want, so why do they need Alex's blood work? This might just have cost us another three weeks… I pray