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coaches taught me since high school. That's how my dad taught me to play.' In short, reality-based answers. If the reporter were to ask himsomething about God in the game, I'm sure O'Connor or any reflective Catholic would be confused.
    "You can hear it now. Reporter asks, 'Tommy, how did God affect your game today?'
    "Tommy gives the reporter a funny look, then answers, in this hypothetical world of VSPN, Vatican Sports Network, 'Well, I prayed for the Blessed Mother to watch over me before the game, to keep me from getting injured,stuff like that.' But the reporter presses him, 'Give me the deeper answer, Tommy; you can speak freely; nuns and high level Vatican officials are watching.'"
    Sam laughed. "I still have no idea what you're talking about, but I don't think that will stop you."
    "Thank you," Buzz said happily before continuing. "Suppose Tommy thought deeply and then gave the real Catholic answer, along the linesof, 'Well, God created me through the sacramental love of my mom and dad, who sacrificed for twenty-five years to raise me. Recognizing and supporting my gift of athletic ability, they made sure I had every opportunity to play and learn the game from good coaches. By choosing Notre Dame and working hard, I increased my chances of being drafted in the third round by the Steelers, who continued to teachme until I could play with the skills I demonstrated today. In terms of morals, which relate to my belief in being a good sport and trying my best to win within the rules using such virtues as prudence, courage, and humility, I would like to thank the Pope for being Christ's visible guide on earth, who in an apostolic line that extends in history back to Jesus, ensured that the Church would noterr in teaching me faith and morals. I would like to thank God the Father, by the way, for being the source of Being Itself, and preventing the universe from ceasing to exist during the game today.'"
    Buzz almost seemed out of breath at the end of his monologue. "But of course, that answer is too long and too preachy, and too philosophical and theological, and so the Catholic quarterback doesn'tsay it. Besides, he's just a football player, not a lecturer. He skipped half his classes while majoring in phys-ed. He just talks about reality, which assumes all these things. Call it the NFL Proof of the Superiority of Catholicism."
    "But then how come most professional athletes are black, and are therefore probably not Catholic?"
    "I never said that you had to be a Catholic to be a pro ballplayer,just that Catholics give better answers than Protestants. How come most pros are blacks? I don't know. Probably cultural reasons. Even so, the Catholic's answer is just as true for all the other players in terms of their parent's love, good coaches, etcetera. God doesn't make pro quarterbacks. Pro quarterbacks develop because of experience and talent–and luck, or fortune–and are the resultof a civilization that began with the Catholic Church."
    "It's funny, Buzz, but my dad, who is a very strong atheist, would agree with you on that," Sam said somewhat pensively.
    "With what?" Buzz smiled as the burgers were set on the table.
    "That western civilization comes largely from the Christian culture. Schools, hospitals, social norms. Those kinds of things. He doesn't like the Catholic Church,but loves what it gave civilization. He always talks about it, but he doesn't put it that way. He also thinks the Catholic Church gave us a bunch of superstitions and rules that were pure horse manure, and is glad that it doesn't run the show any more, civilization-wise."
    "Civilization-wise?" Buzz raised his eyebrow.
    "Sorry, bad diction. I can't talk as glibly as you about these things. I don'tthink I've ever talked about these things, at least not over beers with guys I play hoops with."
    "You're right, nobody has as far as I know," Buzz concurred. "I thought of the NFL Proof today while I was driving back to the UPS center. Just thought I'd try out