Color of Loneliness Read Online Free PDF Page A

loud banging sound jerks Myra awake. Sitting up, her hand reaches for her pounding heart. She frowns, confused for a moment. But a glance down at her coat and shoes brings back the unfortunate events.
    The incessant banging continues as she slowly crawls out of bed and opens the door.
    “Myra, oh my God. What the hell is going on?” Susie yells as she pushes past her into the apartment. “I’ve been calling, texting, emailing, calling. Good God, woman, you scared the holy shits outta me. You were fine at lunch and then just disappeared. What’s going on?” Susie frowns as she stares at Myra’s clothing. “Are you going somewhere?”
    Myra can’t hold the tears back. “He promised. It was supposed to be me…” Myra mumbles as Susie grabs her and hugs her to her chest.
    “What is it?” Susie asks, rubbing her back gently.
    “Julia,” she says before hiccupping.
    “What did she do this time? Because, Myra, I swear to God, I’ll cut that bitch and I mean it.” She pauses. “Well, not really because you know I’m a total chicken shit, but I’ll cut her with my words, by golly. I’ll slay that bitch verbally with my fiendish tongue.”
    “Julia… Julia’s pregnant.” The words tumble out of her in between wrenching sobs.
    Susie gasps and stares at Myra for a moment before she hugs her even closer. “Oh, honey…”
    Myra holds onto her friend and crumbles.
    * * *
    “Okay, you’ve got your warm jammies on, you have a bowl of the yummy soup I made, and we’re going to sit and watch funny sitcoms together,” Susie says as she flips on the TV and flops on the bed next to Myra. “Thank God I still have my leftover chips from lunch today because all you have in this house is food suitable for a baby rabbit. I’d be starving to death right now if I wasn’t thinking about myself all the time.”
    Myra would normally laugh at her friend, but she can’t. She doesn’t have it in her. “Susie?”
    “Yeah?”
    Myra takes in a deep breath, staring down at the comforter. “I want you to take my letter to HR tomorrow. I’m not going back.”
    Susie turns off the TV and shifts to face Myra on the bed. “You sure?” she asks quietly.
    Myra nods. “I can’t go back. I’m done.”
    “I’ve wanted you to quit that damn job forever, but I don’t want you to regret…”
    “I’m not going back.”
    Susie stares at her for a moment before she nods. “Okay.”
    “I’m moving back to Oregon.”
    “What?” Susie shouts, as she quickly scrambles to sit up.
    “I can’t stay here anymore. I have to move on. Get unstuck like you said. So I’m going to move into Grampie’s old house. It’s mine now anyway. And maybe start that novel I’ve wanted to write.”
    “Holy shit. Are you doing this because of what that bitch said to you today? And why Oregon? Why not just stay here?”
    “I didn’t just decide this today. I’ve been thinking about it ever since the funeral. What happened today just confirmed my decision. Besides, I’m paying a fortune for this apartment, and Grampie’s house is paid for. Plus I’ll be away from Trent and… and her for good. I can start over. Start fresh.”
    “What about the insurance?”
    “I’ll worry about that later. Maybe I can go on Cobra, or find an insurance company that’ll insure me,” Myra says as she rubs the comforter between her fingers, liking the feel of it.
    “Wow. You’ve pretty much rendered me speechless, which you know is an impossible feat,” Susie admits, chuckling. “I’m all for you quitting that stupid job, but moving away? Damn, what am I going to do without my best buddy?”
    Myra smiles. “We’ll still be best buddies. Just via phone calls, texts, and emails.” Myra grabs Susie’s hand and squeezes it.
    “So we’ll be virtual best buds?” Susie asks as her eyes begin to fill with tears.
    Myra nods her head, smiling, as tears begin to stream down her cheeks.
    “Okay. I think I can live with that. Thank God we have the same