relationship with him. Not for one minute would he admit that his heart hurt from her rejection.
By the time Saul returned from his thoughts on Cassandra, Greg had guided him inside his home. The crisp air conditioning and the smell of lemons told him that his cleaning lady had been by. He swooped the cane from side to side and walked with careful movements navigating his way into his living area with Greg’s help.
Saul hated relying on anyone, but he was grateful that Greg had been willing to escort him home.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”
Saul heard the worry in his friend’s voice. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Macy’s coming in tonight and my therapist will here on Thursday. It’s only three hours, I’m sure I can manage until then.” Saul injected more bravado than he actually felt.
“Will you ever see again?”
Greg’s question hit him in the core. It was something he thought about a gazillion times per day. “I don’t know. The ophthalmologist told me that my eyes weren’t physically damaged. Everything is working, as it should. He doesn’t have a clue why I can’t see. He even intimated that I was choosing not to see.” Saul laughed with self-deprecation. “Yeah, like I would really choose to hit my shin at least three times a day.”
“When a doctor speaks like that, only God can help you,” Greg said.
Greg left after that, but his words lingered.
God. Saul rubbed his chin. He’d never given much thought to the Man upstairs so if God was the only Person who could help him, then he was in serious trouble. He only went to church for weddings and funerals so why would God waste time on someone like him?
He sighed. His own daughter wanted nothing to do with him.
Holding one hand out in front of him, Saul used the cane in his other hand to pick his way around his living area. With cautious steps, he located the guest suite in the back of the house. His master was upstairs, but he knew he couldn’t handle the stairs. Somewhere deep inside Saul knew he’d been wrong to cut Cassandra out of his life. However, he was too stubborn admit it.
He felt a huge sense of accomplishment when his cane tapped against what must the bed. When his hand pressed into the soft mattress, Saul exhaled and turned to sit on the bed.
Saul had no idea what time it was or how long he sat there. But, he got tired of the croaking frogs and those noisy grasshoppers. Reality sunk in, he was blind and alone in this big house. He thought he’d been alone in the hospital, but in actuality, someone was always coming into his room.
Saul swallowed and tapped his cane on the floor just to make some noise. It echoed through the room. He didn’t like being here by himself. He was used to being on his own, but that was before he was blind. He dug his cell phone out of his jeans to call Cassandra.
Again, he got her voicemail. He hung up without leaving her a message.
He tossed the phone across his bed. It landed with a thud on the floor. He groaned. Now, how was he going to find it? His leg prevented him from getting on his knees.
Oh, how he wished he’d listened to Annie when she advised him to work with a vision teacher or orientation and mobility specialist. The cane had been his only concession. Saul refused the visiting nurse services provision as well.
His stomach growled. In his mind, he pictured his refrigerator well stocked with containers of food and stood. It took him twenty minutes to reach the kitchen. He rubbed his nose. His house was now a war zone. Saul opened the door and reached inside. He felt empty space before his hands encountered something cold.
It was a bottle, which he hoped contained water. Other than that, his fridge felt bare. He’d neglected to have his food prepared and delivered. He could find his way around a kitchen and had never worried about simple things like eating—not when he could afford anything under the sun. For the first time in his life, Saul was scared. His life as he knew it
Katherine Alice Applegate