Cold Ennaline Read Online Free PDF Page A

but we see his dreams around us in the birth of every child and the planting of every harvest. If I don’t have the desire to… to have sex , as Mrs. Fane crudely put it, how can I truly serve the god?
    “I don’t get it,” says Ray.
    “It’s not babies, Enna,” says Ro. “You don’t need to have babies now. It’s a betrothal. The whole… the intercourse parts come later. In four years.”
    “It’s not about babies! It’s….” I take a deep breath. “It’s about passion. Desire. Um, romance. I don’t want to… to do that kind of thing with you. And I might never want to. I’m cold.”
    “Wait, do you mean you’re a lesbian?” Ro asks uncertainly.
    That’s a word I didn’t think I’d ever hear the twins, or any faith full man, say. I shake my head.
    “Oh, okay. No girls, no boys, no us.”
    I’m so embarrassed. I can feel my ears and cheeks burning. It’s good to get all this off my chest, but now that it’s out in the open, it makes me feel naked. I’ve been accused more than once—although not by the twins—of putting up walls to keep people out. Now those walls have come down, but there’s nothing warm or welcoming behind them, just more walls.
    “That’s about the whole of it,” I say.
    The twins sit up a bit and start fidgeting around. I can sense them signing behind my back.
    “We love you, Enna,” says Ro, after a minute of rapid, silent discussion. “We’ll get through this.”
    “You know we’d marry you anyway,” says Ray. “Whatever happens.”
    “Thanks. But you shouldn’t.”
    The twins go quiet. I hang my head over the attic’s edge again. Below us Father Nerve is warning his flock of the signs and symbols of the rising god. Cracks in the earth. Strange winds that destroy and smash. Disfigured or burned-out livestock. Overgrowth of plants and crops. The death of dogs. Stalks of corn and other grains that set themselves alight and burn with a blue flame. And a trail of bad luck and misfortune, striking only those who worked in the fields.
    “The other day Theo was telling us that we should, you know, be careful when it came to the god,” says Ray, resting his chin on his folded hands….
    “Nice subject change,” says Ro. “Very subtle.”
    “Be nice.” I poke Ro, but I’m secretly glad we’re talking about something that’s not my coldness. It’s very like the twins to bounce from one subject to the next.
    “I’m just…. Look, I think there could be something to it, that’s all. You look at how Father Nerve’s been these past few days. He’s worried. I’ve never seen him worried before. He keeps reading his books and writing things down. I don’t think the Bishop is returning his calls.”
    “Your father doesn’t seem too worried about it,” I point out. “What does Theo know about the god, anyway? He’s not faith full. I mean, who even is that guy?”
    “He’s new to the neighborhood,” says Ray. “I think his parents moved for work, or something like that.”
    “What does he know of our lives? What does he know of the god?”
    “Uh-oh,” says Ro. “Enna thinks Theo is a bad influence on us.”
    I’d argue, but it’s true. I don’t like anything about Theo, and I’ve barely even met him. He’s arrogant and skeptical and all the things that good faith full shouldn’t be. It annoys me that the twins seem to have been taken in by him. They’re the companions of a well-respected man, and they should know better than that.
    Below us, Father Nerve’s service is ending. I close my eyes and say a prayer to the god.
     
     
    W HEN WE get down from the attic, most of the faith full have long gone. Father Nerve is waiting for us outside, his arms folded. At first I think he’s going to tell us off for missing the service, but instead he grabs the twins excitedly around the shoulders.
    “Your father came to talk to me today,” he says. “It’s true, it’s as I thought. The Bishop agrees. The god is waking. Everything will