Coconuts and Wonderbras Read Online Free PDF

backless little black dress that clings to her shapely hips. Clearly, no corset needed here. Smokey grey eyes lock onto mine for a second and then travel critically over my black shirty wots-it. I feel like I must be wearing sackcloth and ashes. She goes to smile, but her thin lips seem to struggle.
        ‘Penny, let me introduce you to Libby, my agent,’ he says, raising his eyebrows at me.
        ‘Hello, Libby, nice to meet you,’ she says in a stiff voice and reluctantly holds out a limp hand. I go to take it but she moves away leaving my hand hovering in the air. I look like the Queen waving to the nation.
        ‘Gerald, how are you?’ she calls and dismisses me with a half-hearted wave. I find myself walking backwards nodding stupidly. It’s a wonder I don’t curtsey. Alex Bryant gives an apologetic smile. I take a final step and bump into Miles, Hobnobs accountant.
        ‘Throwing yourself at me, are you old girl? I say, you are looking sophisticated tonight.’ He burps, and champagne fumes waft into my face.
        ‘Less of the old girl please, Miles,’ I say, wrinkling my nose.
    I try to see Toby amidst the throng, but he is nowhere to be seen.
        ‘What, no drink? Good heavens girl it’s bloody Christmas. If you can’t get off your face tonight then when can you?’
    I am dragged to the bar to join the others who are determined to get off their faces. Miles reluctantly orders me an orange juice, attempts to make me laugh with his jokes, fails miserably and finally directs me to our table. I spot Issy, gesturing with her head to the seat next to her. I gasp. Oh no, not Alex Bryant. I see Toby approaching, aka my fiancé, at least, that is what I had said. He reaches the table and leans towards me. I think it is for a kiss but instead his lips whisper into my ear.
        ‘Where have you been? I’ve been lumbered with that bloody shirt-lifter for the past fifteen minutes.’
    Is that the distinctive smell of Trésor that is wafting up my nostrils? I turn to Toby and see he is staring at Bryant.
        ‘Oh for God’s sake, what is he doing here? Did you arrange the seating?’
    Before I can answer Jamie glides up and drapes an arm around Alex.
        ‘Let me introduce you,’ he says gaily, oblivious to our shocked faces. I spin round to grab a glass of champagne from the waiter. I do believe now is the time to get off my face.
        ‘Thanks very much Libby,’ mumbles Toby.
    Why is he blaming me? Christ, this is turning into a fun evening. I should have gassed myself while I had the chance. Anyway, the introductions that followed should have gone something like this…
        ‘Libby, this is Alex Bryant. You’ve heard of Alex, of course?’
        ‘Yes, of course. What an honour to meet you Mr Bryant.’
        ‘Alex, this is my fab assistant Libby and her lovely, soon to be fiancé Toby, whose work you have read of course.’
        ‘Of course. I found your article on the Cambodian revolt fascinating Toby.’
    Then there are lots of cheek kisses that aren’t quite kisses, and we all sit down and smile at each other.
    It actually went like this:
        ‘Libby, this is Alex Bryant, the famous war correspondent who you’ve heard about of course, and this is his lovely fiancée Penny. Alex has recently joined Randal and Hobson.’
    Now Jamie tells me. So, she’s his fiancée. I should have known someone like him would have been taken. Not that I care of course. I avoid eye contact and clasp Toby’s hand under the table. He squeezes it gently and I feel a little bit better.
        ‘Hello,’ I respond nonchalantly and blow my nose noisily to release the Trésor odour.
    There is a tiny cough from Jamie and he continues,
        ‘Of course, you know of Toby Mitchell don’t you Alex?’
    An uncomfortable silence follows. Issy burps and I respond with,
        ‘Bless you.’
    Alex Bryant, who shall be known as The Bastard from here on in, looks only