Clothing Optional Read Online Free PDF Page A

Mommy?”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œThanks, kiddo.”
    â€œDad?”
    â€œHi, Lindsay.”
    â€œDad, when you come home, could you limp in front of my friends? The way you would if you actually had minor back surgery?”
    â€œFine. Can I please speak to Mommy?”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œThanks, sweetheart.”
    â€œHello?”
    â€œRobin?”
    â€œYeah?”
    â€œCould you drive out here?”
    â€œWhen?”
    â€œNow.”
    â€œNow?”
    â€œPlease?”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause I’m hornier than a toad.”
    â€œAlan, the kids have school tomorrow.”
    â€œRobin, I was around naked people all day, and now it’s night, and I’m alone, and I’m ready to burst.”
    â€œAlan—”
    â€œPlease. It’s only a two-hour drive. You can come out, stay seven minutes, then turn around and go home.”
    â€œYou gotta be kidding.”
    â€œYou’re right. Six minutes.”
    I hung up, got undressed, went outside, and was aware of the fact I had never done those things in exactly that order before.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 
    The Terra Cotta Inn doesn’t have a restaurant. (If it did, I wondered, would the chef have to wear two hairnets?) But meals ordered in arrive in no time at all, as the delivery boys from all the local restaurants race through the streets so they can get to see the home where the naked people roam.
    I heard voices and walked in their direction. Much to my surprise, I now had no inhibitions about my nudity. Sure, I was conscious of it, but there I was. Under the stars. Four couples. And me. At a naked pizza party. A couple from L.A. whose children knew where they’d gone for the weekend but weren’t told about the clothes part; a middle-aged CEO from Michigan and his wife of twenty-seven years; a kindergarten teacher and her husband, a retired cop, who’ve been coming to places like this since 1987; a couple from San Diego, both attorneys and both thirty-two, and me.
    I realized I liked these naked people. They were without pretense in addition to being without clothing. So the next morning, when I saw a number of them pass my window holding coffee mugs and doughnuts, I took off my bathrobe and dashed outside to join them. Not only did I spend the entire morning naked, but by noon, I found the very concept of clothing an absurd one.
    A CALL TO A FRIEND
    â€œGarry, it’s Alan. Look, I’m calling because I just felt the need to tell someone that I’m forty-four years old, and about an hour ago, for the first time in my life, I put suntan lotion on my ass. I’ll explain later. Bye.”
    What else can I say other than that I was now one of them? I swam naked. I read
American Pastoral
by Philip Roth naked. I ate a chef’s salad naked. I played naked foosball. I started using my laptop for reasons other than to just cover my lap. And I was quickly becoming more and more intoxicated with my new-found freedom.
    â€œHi, Tom.”
    â€œHi, Alan. Where you headed?”
    â€œCarl’s Jr. The one on Palm Canyon. Want anything?”
    â€œNo, thanks.”
    â€œCatch you later, Tom.”
    â€œAlan?”
    â€œYeah?”
    â€œDo you think you should put some pants on?”
    â€œWhat for?”
    â€œWell, the Palm Springs police have rules when it comes to naked men and fast-food chains.”
    â€œWhat about the drive-thru?”
    â€œAlso the drive-thru.”
    â€œThose bastards.”
    ANOTHER CALL HOME
    â€œWell, then how about taking a plane?”
    â€œAlan…”
    â€œI’m serious, Robin. The airport’s only a few miles from here, and—”
    â€œBut you’re coming home tomorrow.”
    â€œExactly. So I say fly out in the morning, I’ll pick you up, bring you here, then we’ll drive back to L.A. together.”
    â€œWe’ll see.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œYeah,