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boys who frightened me. And the first night I was there, Sarah served pasta sauce that looked like sick. I told her I wasn’t going to eat it and she said, “All the more for the rest of us then,” which is just what Liz used to say. I was so angry, I threw my glass of water at her, and she said, “None of that, kiddo,” and locked me in the bathroom. I was furious. I was furious with Sarah and Tony for not being Liz, and furious with Liz for not wanting to keep me, and furious with myself for not being the sort of kid she’d want to keep. I kicked a great big hole in the door, and I smashed the medicine cabinet with my elbow, so there was glass all over the floor. I picked up this bit of broken glass and stabbed it into my arm, over and over and over again until the blood gushed out and over the floor, just to feel something that wasn’t this.
    Sarah said she didn’t want me after that, and I got sent to Fairfields.

TWO THINGS HAPPENED TO ME ON FRIDAY
    The Friday after I came to live with the Iveys, two things happened.
    The first thing was, Liz rang.
    â€œHello, love,” she said. “How’s it going?”
    â€œFine,” I said. “Absolutely fine. Actually, I’m really busy now, so I’ll probably have to go and do that thing I was really busy doing. Sorry!”
    â€œWhat were you doing?” said Liz. I could hear her almost laughing at me down the phone, which made me angry and also sort of happy, that she knew me well enough not to get pissed off when I pretended I didn’t want to talk to her.
    â€œI’m playing on my new bike,” I said. “And my new skateboard, and my new unicycle, which Daniel taught me how to use and now I can ride it even better than he can, and I can do juggling at the same time, only I drop the balls sometimes.”
    That bit wasn’t actually true, but it wasn’t like Liz would ever find out.
    â€œYou and Daniel are getting on then?” said Liz.
    â€œOh, yeah,” I said. “Daniel and me are best friends.”
    â€œI like Daniel,” said Liz, and my stomach tightened, because everyone likes nice kids better than me.
    â€œYou all set for tomorrow?” she said. She was supposed to be coming to see me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see her, though. Not if she liked Daniel more than me.
    â€œDunno,” I said. “Because, actually, I’m going to be doing tricks on a unicycle tomorrow, so I might be too busy.”
    â€œThat’s a shame,” said Liz. “I’ve cleared all this time off so I can come and visit.”
    I hesitated. “Really cleared time off?” I said.
    â€œReally, really,” said Liz.
    Silence.
    â€œThough I could always go to the Doctor Who meet-up instead,” said Liz. Liz was a massive Doctor Who fan. She had pictures of Daleks stuck up all over her kitchen, and an air freshener shaped like a TARDIS that let out a nice smell when you spun it through time and space. She had a cyberman costume in her garage that she used to dress up in for conventions.
    â€œI don’t care,” I said.
    â€œSee you at half eleven, then?” said Liz.
    â€œYeah,” I said. “Only not half eleven. Come at half one, ’cause I’ve got lots of important things that I need to be doing tomorrow morning.”
    Liz laughed, in a way that made my heart clench.
    â€œOK, sweetheart,” she said. “Half past one.”
    Â 
    And then there was the other thing.
    I was coming down the creepy servants’ stairs when I heard this noise. It was a baby crying, upstairs somewhere, on and on and on.
    It gave me the shivers. I hate babies’ crying. I always have. And this baby sounded so lonely and sad. It sounded like a baby who nobody loved, who nobody cared for. Which was frightening, because of course it must be Maisy, and if Jim could hear Maisy crying like that and not do anything about it, then he wasn’t as nice