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grown-up logic. Something doesn’t work, so you keep doing it until it starts to. If Liz really wanted me to be happy, there were loads of things she could do about it. Doughnuts would be a good start, but I wouldn’t say no to lasers.

TWO WOMEN
    Liz came to visit on Saturday. I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it. I liked Liz, but I was still angry with her.
    When I saw her, though, I was pretty pleased. She looked just the same as always – little, with red shoes, black curly hair that was starting to go grey, and a round face which was always laughing. Liz was about the most cheerful person I knew. It was nearly impossible to piss her off, and I should know. I tried really hard when I lived with her.
    She put her arm around me and gave me this massive hug and said, “How’re you doing, sport?”
    I hate all that “How are you?” stuff, so I mumbled, “I’m OK.” I didn’t want to talk about me any more, so I said, “Did you know Jim’s got ducks? There are six of them and they’ve all got names. Daniel and Harriet named them, but I said it wasn’t fair that they named them all and I didn’t, so Harriet said I could name two of them. Come and see—” And I dragged on her arm to pull her over.
    â€œHey!” Liz pulled her arm away. “What do you do if you want to ask me something?”
    â€œUgh!” Liz was awful about rules. “One day I’m going to be drowning,” I told her, “and I’ll be yelling, ‘Save me! Save me!’ and you’ll be all, ‘That’s not an appropriate way to ask for help,’ but by then I’ll be dead and—”
    â€œYep,” said Liz. “I’m a cold-hearted woman, I am. So you’d better practise asking properly, hadn’t you? Otherwise the fishes’ll be feeding on Olivia and chips.”
    â€œHuh,” I said. “You wouldn’t care. You’d be happy if I drowned, then you wouldn’t have to keep coming to visit.”
    â€œYep,” said Liz. “Must be tough, having this horrible old woman who loves you so much.”
    â€œYou don’t love me!” I said. “You don’t love me at all !”
    â€œToo right,” said Liz. And she grabbed me and started tickling me. I squealed.
    â€œStop it! Let me go!”
    â€œWho’s come to visit you because she loves you? Who?”
    I wouldn’t say it.
    â€œI don’t know!” I said. “No one!” But Liz wouldn’t stop. “OK, you! You! Stop it!”
    â€œDamn right I love you,” said Liz. “Let’s go, shall we?”
    Â 
    We went to Bristol, because I said I was fed up of fields.We went to the cinema and then for a walk by the canal. We counted canal boats and fed the ducks, and admired the little baby ducklings all following their mother in a line. Then we had scampi and chips at a pub and watched the canal boat people opening and closing the locks to let the narrowboats through.
    â€œI wish I lived in a narrowboat,” I said, but Liz said she didn’t.
    â€œSpiders,” she said. “And damp.”
    But I wouldn’t care. I’d just like to be somewhere where no one could mess with my stuff, and no one could make me do anything I didn’t want to, because if they tried, I’d just motor off, and no one would ever find me.
    â€œBut what about me?” said Liz. “If I wanted to visit you, how would I know where to come?”
    â€œYou wouldn’t,” I said. “I’d be gone.”
    Â 
    I had a pretty good time with Liz. It’s tiring living with strangers, always trying to be nice in case they realize how horrible you are really and go off you. I hadn’t realized quite how tiring it was until I had an afternoon off.
    It was nearly seven when we got home. Tea was bubbling on the hob and Jim told me to “run and put your things upstairs –