Charles and Emma Read Online Free PDF Page A

he got the chance. Some of the crew made fun of him for how religious he seemed. And his first publication, in 1836—with his captain—was a letter in the
South African Christian Recorder
arguing for increased funding for Christian missionaries.
    But natural history became his true passion and now, after the voyage, in 1838, Charles was having serious doubts about God and Jesus, about the Revelation, about heaven and hell. He wasn’t an atheist, but he had begun to reject God’s role in creation. At the same time that he was making his
Marry, Not Marry
list and writing in his notebooks about transmutation of species, he was reading and writing about religion and talking to his friends about his beliefs. He did not believe that God created the earth and all its creatures in six days. He felt certain just as the earth’s geography was changing, so were new species being created all the time, and God did not have a role in that creation.
    He also began to have doubts that Christianity was
the
religion.Why should he believe it was the only right way? He felt that the Hebrew scripture’s history of the world was false, that there was no Tower of Babel, no rainbow as a sign from God after a big flood. The Bible was no more to be trusted than any other religion’s holy book. He also began to disbelieve the Old Testament idea of a wrathful God, a revengeful tyrant. He found it hard to believe anything in the Bible was literally true—including the Gospels. If the Gospels were not true, then where did that leave belief in Jesus as savior? How could Christianity be Divine Revelation? How could Christianity be the one true religion? He was not dismissing God altogether, nor was he dismissing Christianity. But his doubts were strong, and growing.
    He knew that these doubts and his revolutionary thoughts about transmutation and the creation of species would stand in his way of finding a wife. Most women were believers and wanted their husbands to be believers, too.
    On this visit home, Charles confessed all to his father and asked for his counsel. Dr. Darwin had no problem with his son’s religious doubts. He shared them. But he did have very strong advice for him: When you find the woman you want to marry, don’t tell her! The doctor had seen many marriages in his medical practice, and he told Charles that he had known “extreme misery thus caused with married persons. Things went on pretty well until the wife or husband became out of health, and then some women suffered miserably by doubting about the salvation of their husbands.” And then, Dr. Darwin concluded, the husbands suffered, too.
    The doctor encouraged his son to take the plunge. He thought Charles would be happy being married. He also told him that children were healthier if they were born to youngerparents and Charles wasn’t getting any younger; he was nearing thirty. So the doctor gave Charles another piece of advice: hurry up.
    But don’t forget, Dr. Darwin warned his son, “Conceal your doubts!”

 
    Chapter 4
    Where Doors and Windows Stand Open
    Â 
    Emma’s handwriting…was, like herself, firm,
calm, and transparently clear.
    â€”H ENRIETTA D ARWIN L ITCHFIELD
    Â 
    Excuse this scrawl but I have such a Pen and besides
never could write like any thing but what I am…Burn
this as soon as read—or tremble at my fury and revenge.
    â€”F ANNY O WEN IN A LETTER TO C HARLES , J ANUARY 1828
    Â 
    A few weeks later, in the summer of 1838, Charles decided to make another trip. He wanted to visit Uncle Josiah and Aunt Bessy and his cousins at Maer Hall. Late July was a good time to get out of murky, hot, dirty London, and Charles loved the Staffordshire countryside around Maer, which “was very pleasant for walking or riding.” He also loved the atmosphere of peaceful hospitality at the Wedgwoods’ home. At Maer “life was perfectly free.” He looked forward to the summer