sink. I tasted a piece. It had a nice charred taste, like mickies right out of the fire. I spooned everything together in the pan and put it on the table with bread and ketchup. âOkay, letâs eat.â
Bubber stared at the wall.
âCome on,â I said. âNobody ever yelled at you before? You donât take some, Iâll eat it all myself.â
He slapped me. âThat tickles,â I said. He punched me a couple of times hard before he sat down to eat.
âItâs good, isnât it?â
He opened his mouth and let me look at the chewed-up meat on his tongue.
For dessert I made chocolate pudding, burned that, too, but Bubber was getting to appreciate my style of cooking. He said it tasted good.
After we ate, I thought about going out. I hadnât seen my friends all day. I looked down into the courtyard. Then I went into the other room and looked out to the street. Back and forth. Iâd go out when Bubber was asleep.
At the table, Bubber was drawing and telling himself Tarzan stories. âNow he jumps in the river. Uh-oh, here comes the alligator. But look how fast Tarzan swims. Nobody can swim as fast as Tarzan!â
âOkay,â I said. âStop. Time to go to bed.â
âSplash. Splash. Splash. Splash. Tarzan jumps out of the water. I have to do my homework, Tolley.â
âWhat homework? They donât give homework in first grade.â He never did anything when my mother was home. Now he wanted to read his book. I had to sit with him and help him sound out the words. Fifteen minutes was enough for me. âOkay, get ready for bed.â
No, first we had to play Lone Ranger and Silver. I was Silver. I got down on my hands and knees and he climbed on me. He dug his knees into my sides. We rode to the other room where Tonto was waiting. Then we had to hit the trail after the bad guys. âHi-ho, Silver!â And the great white horse went galloping to the toilet.
I finally told him, âYou want to see Momma tomorrow, youâve got to go to bed.â
âIs she coming home?â
âSheâd better. One more day of you is all I can stand.â
I said he could sleep in Mommaâs bed. I had to get on the bed, too, and we listened to The Shadow on the radio. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? It was a good story. Margo was trapped, but the Shadow rescued her. The Shadow knows .â¦
Bubber fell asleep listening. He had his feet over me. I was careful getting out of bed. I turned off the radio, carried my shoes to the door and went out.
It was late. There was nobody by the first candy store. Nate was taking in the papers, getting ready to close up. I walked up toward the subway. Most of the stores were shut. The drugstore was open on the next corner. I waited by the delicatessen under the tracks for the next train from downtown. What was I waiting for? I didnât expect my mother, but I stood there and waited.
When the train came into the station, a handful of people got off. A woman came down the stairs. She was wearing a leopard-skin coat and a matching hat. My mother didnât have a coat like that, but there was something about her that made me think of my mother. I started toward herâI was happy. But it was just a woman. After that I went home.
The minute I came off the street and into the courtyard, I heard Bubber crying. He was standing in front of the open window, bawling like a cat. âMomma ⦠Momma ⦠Momma â¦â
I called up to him. âShhh!â I didnât want the whole house to hear. âIâm here, shhh. Shut up.â I ran up the stairs, fell and banged my knee. Then I had to fumble around for my key because he didnât have the brains to open the door.
âWhatâs the matter with you?â I said, when I finally got in. âWhat are you broadcasting for? You want everyone to know what a baby you are?â Thatâs what he looked like, a pouty,