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lose…
    “Ana! Ana, you’re okay! Ana!” Athen shook me awake. “You’re okay, sweetheart.”
    Unable to catch my breath, I tried to focus on Athen’s face. Reaching up to trace his lips and jaw, I clung onto any sort of reality that didn’t consist of being on the mountain with Lilith. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him.
    “It was horrible,” I wept into his chest. “I let my ego take over. I had her. I almost had her. I was foolish!”
    “Shh, Ana. It was only a nightmare,” he whispered.
    “What if it is wasn’t? What if I make a mistake again?” My breath started to stabilize, but my emotions were far from it.
    “We can only do our best.” Athen embraced me tightly, as I tried to banish the images from my mind.
    “Everything okay in here?” Cyril appeared in the cave, winded. “I heard screaming and hollering.”
    “Ana had a nightmare,” Athen replied. “Think she’s doing better now.”
    “At least it wasn’t a premonition,” Cyril said, before heading back outside.
    “I hope not,” I sighed. “I really hope not.”
    In the arms of Athen, my mind went back to the darkness I craved. I thankfully allowed myself a few hours to enjoy the rest of the night in peace. Being held by him was the solace my spirit needed.
     
    ***
    “Since it looks like Arie’s in Seattle, I think we might as well set up at the Kingston place,” Athen said, packing up the rest of our stuff from our short-lived Mt. Rainier expedition.
    “Sounds great to me,” Cyril agreed. He looked completely exhausted. His eyes were dazed, shoulders sagging. He looked nothing like the Cyril I knew. I was used to him always being an overwhelming force, exuding strength and confidence. Now, what I was faced with, staring back at us, made me doubt Arie’s plan to the core. How could she do this to him? How could we do this to him? I knew the goal was to keep Cyril in pursuit of Arie long enough to show him what Azazel had been up to, but it seemed so cruel.
    I met Athen’s gaze, and he simply nodded. He felt the same conflict as I. Cyril had gathered the rest of items that Athen and I had brought up here. We were all packed and ready to go. The hike down the mountain would be a lot cheerier than the night before. For starters, daylight had arrived, and that always helped. But we had, also, begun the process to locate Arie, more for Cyril’s sake than either of ours. I already knew where she’d be hiding, if all went according to plan. Theoretically, since Cyril went through the painful process of the Awakening, the wheels were turning. With all the memsors in place, it should be an almost non-existent absence.
    The goal was for Athen to keep Cyril distracted, and I would meet Arie in Seattle where she was staying. The anxiety level I felt was crazy. If I went there, and she didn’t remember me, we would have a much bigger problem on our hands. I couldn’t think like that, though. There’s no room for the what ifs in this plan. She was only supposed to stay away for a week or so, just long enough to get Cyril to meet up with the other families who had already fallen for Azazel’s trap.
    Athen secured the North Face backpack on me that probably weighed more than I did, creating a wobbly force dragging me down. One of the knives, that I regularly packed on me, was pinching me near my hip. Squirming to get myself situated, my body went backwards, and I crashed onto the ground releasing a nice plume of cave dust for all of us to breathe in.
    “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Cyril said, turning to help lift me back up.
    “Wish I was, Cy.” I reached for his hand as he hauled me upright. “At least, the knife holster isn’t poking me anymore.”
    Athen leaned against the protruding rock, unable to control his laughter. His smile lit up the entire cave.
    “It’s stunning how you are a magnificent fighter, graceful really, and then you can’t even make it wandering around!” Athen walked over to deliver