Canapés for the Kitties Read Online Free PDF

might lynch her if she tried.
    â€œYe – oh ... No, no, they’re here with me now, as a matter of fact.” She nodded to the semaphoring arms wildly instructing, Don’t ask him round.
    â€œOh, how – how nice ... Yes, I’ll ask them. Just a moment.” She took the precaution of covering the mouthpiece before announcing, “Plantagenet is inviting us to a party on Saturday night. He’s having a house-warming.”
    â€œWarm it?” Macho was still posturing. “I’d rather burn it down!”
    â€œOh, hell,” Freddie moaned. “I suppose we’ll have to go -”
    â€œThey’d be delighted,” Lorinda said firmly into the phone. “Eight o’clock? Yes, we’ll all be there. Thank you so much.” She managed to replace the receiver before the chorus of groans and complaints broke out.
    A sudden gust of wind tore a shower of leaves from the trees and hurled them against the windows like hail. Lorinda watched gloomily as a splattering of raindrops joined them.
    It was going to be a long winter.

2
    Saturday came all too soon, however. They foregathered at Macho’s for a preliminary drink to brace themselves for the house-warming party.
    â€œHouse-warming!” Freddie snorted. “Danegeld is what it amounts to.”
    â€œI’d like to geld him, ” Macho muttered.
    â€œAnyway,” Freddie went on cheerfully, “I found the perfect present for him at the antique shop. On the principle of sweets for the sweet ...”
    â€œAn antique pendant?” Macho murmured hopefully. “Better than that. An old gargoyle beer mug! Not only is it hideous, but we all know he wouldn’t be caught dead drinking beer. And, since it’s an antique and cost quite a bit, he’ll never be sure whether I was getting at him or not.”
    â€œOh, well played!” Lorinda applauded. “I wasn’t nearly so adventurous. I got him an eighteenth-century ship’s decanter.” Unimaginative but safe, she hoped.
    â€œThe antique shop has been doing a rushing business.” Macho’s eyes gleamed wickedly. “I got him a framed print of the Spanish Inquisition – Torquemada doing his stuff. He can make what he likes of that.”
    Roscoe, mindful of his duties as co-host, was padding from guest to guest offering help in disposing of any unwanted items – like the last bite on the cocktail stick. He was not importunate about it – Macho would not have stinted him in the kitchen – he simply wished to remind everyone that further handouts were always welcomed and appreciated.
    Lorinda sighed and surrendered to the hopeful eyes, handing over a bacon-wrapped chicken liver she had barely nibbled. Roscoe made quick work of it and looked around for more. No wonder he wouldn’t fit through a catflap.
    â€œI wish we didn’t have to go,” Freddie said. “I wish we could stay right here and have a pleasant evening.”
    â€œThink of it as part of the job,” Lorinda advised. “Like signing sessions and speaking at libraries, schools and clubs.”
    â€œAll right for some, ” Macho said darkly, and Lorinda realized she had been tactless. It was well known that no school or club in its right mind would invite what it imagined Macho Magee’s creator to be like to come and address their tender charges.
    â€œShe means libraries,” Freddie said helpfully, earning another dark look. The only time Macho had spoken at a library he had nearly been hooted off the stage by some louts who had strayed in to see what he looked like and commented loudly and freely on their disappointment and his deficiencies. The creator of the mountainous bully was not expected to be a weedy individual who could have passed for a university lecturer or tax inspector. In a way, Macho had brought it on himself. When his publishers had insisted on a photograph for the book jacket, Macho, conscious