times to steady myself then creep down the corridor.
Peter’s door is closed and I can hear him telling Madame Lucien not
to worry if she can still move her forehead; the Botox may take a
while to set. Based on my experience, it’ll be a good ten minutes
or so before she’s convinced, so I’m safe to make my call.
Settling back
on the stool, I get out my mobile and punch in the number in Leza’s
email signature.
“Leza,” a voice
barks after one ring.
“Hi, Leza? It’s
Serenity Holland?” God, I sound like I’m ten.
“Who?”
“Um, I just
sent you a pitch? About the man and cosmetic surgery . . .” My
voice trails off.
“Oh yes. Sounds
interesting. Here’s what I’m thinking.”
My heart is
beating so fast I can barely take in her bullet-like phrases.
“We’re
launching a health and beauty website called Beauty Bits on
Friday, and we still need content. I’d like you to write a column
on this man; follow his progress. A blow-by-blow account of the
whole thing.”
“Okay!” I
squeak. Breathe. Breathe .
“I want you to
write about more than the surgery stuff. This man will undergo an
all-round transformation, courtesy of our readers.”
“Courtesy of
our readers?” I echo, wondering what she means.
“Yeah. We’ll
use polls to have them choose what this bloke does to himself.
Dress him up in a tux, design his stubble, cut his hair, whatever.
They’ll select his new body parts, too. We’ll let them think that,
anyway – don’t worry too much about what he actually does; that
doesn’t matter. It’s all about having the readers feel like
they’re in control. We’ll call the column Build a Man .”
“Wow. Great
idea.” Now I sound like a bleating goat.
“We don’t have
a budget for freelancers. So you won’t be paid. But if your columns
get a lot of hits and you can keep up the pace, we may consider you for a junior position on staff.”
“That’s fine.
That’s awesome! Thank you.” I’m practically panting down the phone
as visions of my byline float through my head.
“I’ll send you
the details; have our online editor get in touch to talk about word
count and technical specs. We’ll see how the first column goes and
take it from there. Get this man to talk about why he wants a
makeover, his background and history. Oh, and make sure to get his
measurements, too, so we can do a before and after graph. Can you
get me the text by Thursday?”
I gulp. It’s
Tuesday now, and Jeremy won’t be in again until next week. Still,
I’ve got his phone number on the client sheet. I’ll get him
on-board somehow. I’ve got to. “Yes, that’s fine. No problem.”
“Great. Oh, and
I think it’s best if you don’t tell him you’ll be writing about
him,” Leza says. ‘To let him fully engage with you.”
“Um, what do
you mean, don’t tell him?” I ask tentatively. How can I interview
someone without them knowing?
Leza makes an
impatient noise. “You know, go undercover. Just say – well, I don’t
care what you say; that’s your problem. Look, for this column to
work, you need him to let down his guard and give you intimate
access.”
My cheeks flush
at ‘intimate access’ and I nod before realising she can’t see
me.
“And sometimes,
if people find out you’re writing about them, they get greedy and
ask for cash. We don’t have cash. You’ll need to write under
a different name, of course. Keep the clinic confidential, too. The
last thing we want is another lawsuit.” She hangs up before I can
say anything more.
Oh my God. Oh my God! I’m going to be a reporter for The Daily
Planet . I’ll have my own column! Okay, it’s not print. It’s not
paid. And since I’ll be undercover, I won’t have a byline in my own
name. But I could eventually.
A thrill of
excitement and nerves hits me as I think about going undercover,
and an image of me in a cute fedora and trench coat goes through my
mind. Serenity Holland, working incognito, to get the inside