Brenda Monk Is Funny Read Online Free PDF Page A

though.’
    ‘Yeah, well.’
    ‘What do you want to drink?’
    ‘A blue WKD. And a shot of Aftershock.’
    Brenda hesitated. An odd order, but Jim sometimes did have the predilections of a teenage girl.
    ‘OK.’
    She walked away from him, glad to have a moment to rearrange her face. The show was fine, but not amazing, and
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was right, he did still need to ‘find his voice’. It was too timid, too polite, and yes, despite the difference in style and genre, it suffered greatly by comparison with Jonathan. It was a different league. But she had enjoyed it and it was a relief to hear a load of material about women other than herself. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find Jim.
    ‘Let’s not stay here. Let’s go to the Attic Bar. It’s better and everyone will be there. I’ll say you’re my agent.’
    Brenda nodded and checked her phone. There was a text from Jonathan.
    ‘Attic Bar. Then home. Then you and me…’
    Brenda smiled to herself and linked arms with Jim.
    The gate-keeper to the Attic Bar was a medium sized security guard who clearly expected trouble at some point, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Anyone who ate real food regularly and attended the gym more than twice a year could more than control a malnourished, drug-infused comedian who couldn’t bear to fall out with anyone anyway. Jim flashed his performers pass and Brenda entered with him with no comment from the guard – women were always welcome. Down a narrow corridor which bent and then opened into a large bar with an even larger roof terrace, the place was heaving. It was close to midnight by now but in Edinburgh time this was the equivalent of around 9pm. This was one of the three main bars in the city available exclusively to performers and their hangers on. Comedians hardly ever went drinking in the pubs and clubs open to the public. These bars were an excellent place to talk shop, and the late licences didn’t hurt either. Brenda scanned the room and the terrace outside – where was Jonathan?
    ‘What do you want?’
    ‘To find Jonathan.’
    ‘No, to drink.’
    ‘Oh a Jack Daniel’s and coke, please.’
    Jim nodded and walked away. Brenda caught sight of Jonathan outside, lounging on a chair under a large umbrella, flanked by Joan and Lloyd and with a small gang of comedians and their various people sat around. Brenda approached the group.
    ‘Hey babe,’ said Jonathan with a casual tone, ‘you got my text.’ ‘Yeah.’
    ‘Hey, move over Lloyd, I want my girl next to me.’
    Lloyd dutifully moved and Brenda sat down next Jonathan who kissed her full and long on the lips.
    ‘Mmm… it is very good to see you. Did I mention that?’ He leaned in to whisper, ‘Hey, we’ve all done some MDMA, want a bit?’
    ‘Sure.’
    ‘OK, good.’
    Jonathan turned his body towards hers in some parody of discretion, deftly took a small crystal out of his pocket, wrapped it in a Rizla paper and handed it to her. Brenda swallowed it down with a gulp of his beer and grinned. Jonathan beamed back.
    ‘You look so great tonight, B. I’m so glad you came.’ He leant in again. ‘I’m gonna suck you dry later.’
    Everyone heard, but who cared? They were as far from the grip of respectable suburban values as you could get, and surely this was just the life they wanted. They prided themselves on being unshockable. Brenda snuggled down into Jonathan’s armpit as Jim arrived with the drinks.
    ‘Ah, Jim James, very nice to meet you at last,’ said Jonathan, with less mockery than he had obviously intended.
    ‘Jim John, actually, and we’ve met before.’
    ‘Jim John, Jim John. I’m sorry, why can’t I ever remember that?’ ‘I don’t know. Brenda, here’s your drink. Ruth’s over there so I’m going to catch up with her, OK?’
    Brenda nodded and sipped her Jack Daniel’s and coke. Jonathan shook his head as he watched Jim retreat.
    ‘Odd guy.’
    ‘He’s OK.’
    ‘Brenda likes him, so I like him,’ Jonathan