Breaking Silence Read Online Free PDF Page A

with God now.”
    “But I saw you save her. I saw you.”
    “I couldn’t save her. I’m sorry.”
    The boy looks down at his plate and begins to cry. “I want my mamm. ”
    “I know you do, honey.” Reaching across the table, I pat his hand. It’s small and soft and cold beneath mine. Feeling helpless and inept, I turn my attention to the eldest boy. He stares back at me. I see defiance in his eyes, and I wonder if he’s trying to defy death or maybe deny his own grief. “What are your names?” I ask.
    “I’m Salome.” The girl sitting across from me is in her mid-teens, with mouse brown hair and a pale complexion mottled pink from crying. Her eyes are forest green and skitter away from mine when I look at her. She’s the only one who has picked up her fork and sampled the scrapple.
    I give her a nod, then I turn my attention to the boy sitting next to her.
    “I’m Samuel,” he says.
    “How old are you, Samuel?” I ask.
    “Twelve.”
    I give him a smile I hope looks real, then I look at the youngest child, who’s sitting two chairs over from me. He’s a blond-haired boy with blunt-cut bangs and a sprinkling of freckles across a turned-up nose. “How about you?”
    “I’m Ike and I’m ten.” The words are barely out when he lowers his face into his pudgy hands and bursts into tears. “I want my mamm. ”
    I feel like crying, too, but of course I can’t. That kind of emotion is as contagious as any virus, and I can’t afford to allow it into my psyche. Instead, I touch Ike’s shoulder and then look across the table at the eldest boy. “What’s your name?”
    “Moses, but they call me Mose.”
    He’s a tall, thin boy with greasy blond hair and patches of bright pink acne on both cheeks. But any hint of teenaged homeliness ends there. His eyes are crystalline blue beneath blunt-cut bangs. I see the unmistakable glint of intelligence in those eyes, and I know he’s smart enough to realize that all of their lives are about to change in a very profound way.
    “How old are you, Mose?”
    “I am a man.” His voice cracks, belying the words, and he sits up a little straighter. “I’m seventeen.”
    “My name’s Kate. I’m the chief of police, and I need to ask you some questions about what happened.” No one says anything. No one looks at me. “What are your parents’ names?”
    After a moment, Mose raises his eyes to mine. “ Datt is Solomon, but they call him Solly. Mamm ’s name is Rachael.”
    “And the other man?”
    “Our uncle, Abel.”
    “Last name Slabaugh?”
    “ Ja. He’s visiting from Lancaster County.”
    I feel ancient as I look from young face to young face. Innocent kids whose lives, until now, have been untouched and undamaged by the ravages life can sometimes inflict. My gaze stops on Mose and I say, “I need for you to tell me what happened this morning.”
    His eyes go to the plate of untouched food in front of him and for a moment he looks as if he’s going to throw up. He takes a full minute to gather himself, then speaks to me without looking up. “ Datt and Uncle Abel were feeding the hogs and cleaning the pens. Mamm and the rest of us were in the house. She sent Samuel out to fetch Datt so we could say our before-meal prayer and eat breakfast.” He closes his eyes briefly. “Samuel came back screaming.”
    I turn my attention to Samuel. “What happened?” I ask gently.
    The boy looks down at his plate. From where I sit, I can see that his hands are dirty and scabbed, with short, bitten nails. Typical boy hands. Amish hands that work and play in equal measure. “ Datt and Uncle Abel were in the pit. I didn’t know what to do.”
    “Were they awake?”
    Samuel looks at Mose. Mose gives him a nod, which seems to bolster the boy. Samuel meets my gaze, then his face screws up. “ Ja. Datt couldn’t speak. But Uncle Abel … he yelled for me to get help.”
    “What did you do?”
    “I ran to the house to get Mamm .”
    I nod, trying not to imagine