Breaking News: An Autozombiography

Breaking News: An Autozombiography Read Online Free PDF Page B

Book: Breaking News: An Autozombiography Read Online Free PDF
Author: N. J. Hallard
Tags: Horror
spluttered.
    ‘ Well, I thought about going through it but I didn’t,’ Al shrugged. The guard wore a shirt ironed to a crisp line, but dark rings leeched out from under his arms and into his cheap green jacket. He was out of breath, and sweat glistened on his scalp between tight corn rows.
    ‘ You went in through the Way Out.’
    ‘ So what?’ Al puffed his chest out. ‘Haven’t you seen it out there, mate? You want to get on home or you’ll catch the lurgy.’
    ‘ It is mental out there mate,’ I thumbed over my shoulder, ‘and my wife’s in there,’ I said, pointing ahead.
    ‘ No-one’s left, mate, only the building staff. What floor was she on?’
    I looked at Al. What floor was she on? I didn’t do dates or numbers. Birthdays and anniversaries; anything made from fabric; tickets and passports - that’s what Lou did. I was drains; electricity; cooking and bins. What floor was she on?
    ‘ Four.’ I said. ‘Six.’
    ‘ Which?’ He quickly unclipped his radio from a little holster which prompted Al to make karate hands at him before raising them in apology.
    ‘ Six,’ I repeated.
    ‘ Hello mate, it’s John. Yep. Got anyone left on six?’
    The guard looked at me.
    ‘ What’s her name mate?’
    I told him, and looked back at the car. Floyd had his front paws up at the window, tail on automatic. The guard was gesturing us to follow him, still on his radio. We trudged up the car park ramp and into the heat, past the barriers and up to the glass front doors. I nudged Al. Fifty feet away by some weak-looking bushes there was a kid with a hooded top and headphones round his neck staring at us. He stood still, shoulders drooped, mouth open. We followed the guard inside where it seemed even hotter and smelt like cleaning products. There was a long brown and orange desk and green-flecked linoleum on the floor. John was talking to another guard, fat and pasty, who signalled for us to follow him.
    ‘ Don’t drive through my Way Out again!’ John said, taking up position at reception.
    ‘ I will on the way out!’ Al shouted over his shoulder. Nice one.
    We followed Fatboy up the stairwell. The two tone décor was even better up here –winter grey above bottle green, separated by a sticky handrail.
    ‘ Lift’s out again,’ he sighed. ‘What’s it like out there?’
    ‘ Hectic,’ Al said.
    ‘ Haven’t you got people at home?’ I asked him. It took him another flight of stairs to gather the breath to answer.
    ‘ Yeah, but the missus is good in a crisis. She’s with the kids. I’ve got to stay here anyway, to protect all the records - insurances and that. Did you hear they’re talking about martial law on Sky News?’
    ‘ How very colourful of them,’ I muttered as we climbed.
    ‘ Five!’ he said with a triumphant wheeze.
    ‘ My wife’s on six.’
    ‘ Fucking hell.’ He pointed upwards. ‘I’ll wait here.’
    He leant against the wall and closed his eyes as we went up the stairs towards the double swing-doors at the top.
     
    The main thoroughfare was scattered with pot plants and chairs. On each side were cubicles with black and brown carpet tiles, and a radio was on. This bit of the building smelt like photocopier toner and proper coffee.
    ‘ Lou?’ I asked, tentatively.
    ‘ Oh,’ a head popped up from behind a cubicle at the back. ‘You scared me. Hello!’
    Lou ran up to me and squeezed me. Her hair smelt like fruit sweets, and today her eyes were ice-blue. I squeezed back.
    ‘ You took your time! Hello chum,’ she beamed at Al, and hugged him.
    ‘ A27 was a bit mad. Crawley’s heaving,’ Al explained.
    ‘ Oh, it’s been a drama here.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Clive’s an actuary and he collapsed earlier so we tried to call an ambulance, which of course there weren’t any. He’s come round a couple of times and one time he grabbed at Susie’s leg and it’s freaked her out a bit. That’s Susie, she’s Lyn’s PA. Susie!’
    ‘ Hiyaaa!’ another head popped
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