Breaking News: An Autozombiography

Breaking News: An Autozombiography Read Online Free PDF

Book: Breaking News: An Autozombiography Read Online Free PDF
Author: N. J. Hallard
Tags: Horror
where Lou worked so I guided Al though the streets – busier than Worthing; tenser, with heated exchanges between angry drivers and fighting on the pavements. The traffic lights had stopped working at some crossroads ahead of us (the last time I was here they hadn’t been working because of road works) and people weren’t being as organised or logical as they could have been. I counted at least eight cars which had been involved in accidents; three askew on the brand-new black asphalt and the others pushed to the side. I could see people sitting on the side of the road. Al gunned the engine and forged a path through the wreckage, holding his hand up in a gesture that served as both an apology and a thank-you.
    Two enormous inflatable tents were being set up on a precinct scattered with huddled bodies. Lines of people curled around the tents and out of sight, and the blue lights of ambulances and police cars turned dimly in the searing sun. Vast areas of shadow from the tall buildings around the square drew people like moths, sheltering from the heat.
    ‘ Chum,’ I said. ‘We should have turned left.’
    ‘ Okey-poker!’
    I think Al was glad to pull off the main roads. The traffic was definitely heading out of town, so diving into the middle of the whole thing was far easier than getting out would be. I checked my mobile phone – still no reception. Before long we saw shops with their windows smashed, and people pushing loaded shopping trolleys through the streets. I knew where I was now, and pointed Al onto a small trading estate. It seemed to be marooned in the middle of a vast roundabout and boasted a drive-through fast food shack and a single-storey monochrome pub called ‘MacTafferty’s Again’. They both looked sad and empty, and the pub had a vinyl sign. The word “again” had been written in a different font, in italics, as if the marketing team had imagined the punters sighing and resigning themselves to another evening of fun at “MacTafferty’s Again” . It looked like there was little life about - another area where interest had moved on and things had slowed to a mouldy halt.
    We pulled off the road and onto the inexplicably pink tarmac strip leading up to the office block where Lou worked. To the right of that was a multi-level staff car park with two floors above ground and more below. Ahead a lowered yellow-and-black striped barrier blocked the way in, but on the way out a second gate was raised. No-one was around. Al looked at me, shrugged, and put the car into reverse. For a moment I thought he was going to get enough distance to break through the barrier and I gripped the edge of my seat. Al pulled to the right and rather disappointingly drove slowly under the raised exit barrier instead. We were in. The little bubble-gum road led us past the front doors of the building before doubling back towards the car park.
    ‘ Go down a level or two, it’ll be cooler for the dog.’
    Al found three parking spaces he liked, and straddled them with the Audi. We’d be further away from the front entrance than I would have liked but I shrugged off the horror-movie chills and got out, my eyes fighting the cool underground gloom. I opened the boot and let Floyd out on his lead for a piss. He was eager to explore, but when he was finally done I lifted him back in and held his head in my hand, making eye contact and whispering ‘going to the shops’, which Lou had taught him. He started whining as I shut him in and Al locked the car. As I got my mobile out to check the reception again I heard Al say ‘Hello?’ under his breath. I looked up. No undead – instead I saw a young security guard, shouting and running towards us down the ramp. I checked behind me for zombies all the same.
    ‘ What the fuck are you two doing?’ he yelled.
    ‘ Eh?’
    ‘ I saw you!’ The guard was almost upon us.
    ‘ What mate?’ Al asked, chin out.
    ‘ Through the barrier what mate, that’s fucking what!’ he
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