and terror, that some part of her mind was dramatizing, borrowing from the turbulent musical score of some private drama, and the music was rushing and pushing her now, higher and higher, faster, faster, plummeting and scurrying, down, and down into the pit of the ravine.
Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge!
She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind, with the music following, too, the music shrieking and babbling.
Heâs following, donât turn, donât look, if you see him, youâll not be able to move, youâll be so frightened. Just run, run!
She ran across the bridge.
Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, itâs dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldnât help; I canât scream anyway. Hereâs the top of the path, hereâs the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe Iâll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didnât know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this Iâll never go without Helen or Francine again! Hereâs the street. Across the street!
She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk.
Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and Iâll be safe!
And thereâsilly thing to noticeâwhy did she notice, instantly, no time, no timeâbut there it was anyway, flashing byâthere on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail . . . and . . .
She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming.
The key fit.
Unlock the door, quick, quick!
The door opened.
Now, inside. Slam it!
She slammed the door.
âNow lock it, bar it, lock it!â she gasped wretchedly.
âLock it, tight, tight !â
The door was locked and bolted tight.
The music stopped. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence.
Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. Iâll never go out at night again. Iâll stay home. I wonât go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait.
Look out the window.
She looked.
Why, thereâs no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason If a man had been following me, heâd have caught me! Iâm not a fast runner. . . . Thereâs no one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasnât running from anything. That ravineâs as safe as anyplace. Just the same, itâs nice to be home. Homeâs the really good warm place, the only place to be.
She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped.
âWhat?â she asked. âWhat, what ?â
Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat.
THE ROCKET
M ANY NIGHTS F IORELLO B ODONI WOULD AWAKEN to hear the rockets sighing in the dark sky. He would tiptoe from bed, certain that his kind wife was dreaming, to let himself out into the night air. For a few moments he would be free of the smells of old food in the small house by the river. For a silent moment he would let his heart soar alone into space, following
Arnold Nelson, Jouko Kokkonen