Boy Minus Girl Read Online Free PDF Page B

Street on our bikes while balancing Frosty Queen milk shakes.
    “Fact—or fallacy?” Howard continues. “Kangaroos have been sighted in North America—”
    “Hey, Leth-bian!”
    Shit-shit-shit
. I begin trembling all over. Brett’s bike pulls up on my right. Misty, his skeletal stoner girlfriend, all long black hair and pale yellow roots, shares the banana seat with him.
    “Aw, look, Little Lord Leth-bian and hith lard-ath butt buddy are on a date.” Brett reaches over, snatching the shake from my hand. He takes a long suck, then hurls the cup.
    “Thanks a lot, Brett,” I say.
    Brett glares at Howard and growls.
    “I, uh, suddenly remember something I have to do,” Howard says, his voice quavering, as he turns and disappears down a side street.
    Dear Jesus . . . how about a lightning bolt through Brett’s head about now, huh?
    “Y’know why I hate’th ya, Leth-bian?” Brett rams his front wheel into mine. I keep control of the weaving handlebars until I hit the curb and catapult onto a lawn.
    I clamber to my feet, only to be met by Brett’s fist in my gut. Landing hard on my butt, I feel as if I’m going to vomit. Brett’s shadow falls over me.
    “I hate’th ya ’cauthe your dad’th a rich doctor and you’re an ugly faggot,” he says, and shoves me down.
    “C’mon, don’t hurt him, Brett!” Misty pleads.
    “Shut up, bitch!”
    He body-slams me, his full weight crashing into my midsection and knocking the air from my chest. A million little white dots swirl in front of my eyes, and the earth feels like it’s pitching. I lie waiting for oxygen to refill my lungs when I hear a rumbling car engine and the squealing of brakes.
    “What the hell?!”
    I sit up on my elbows and watch Uncle Ray hop out of his Corvette and charge over to Brett, who jumps to his feet and raises his hands. “No harm done, thir, no harm done.”
    Uncle Ray violently grabs Brett by his shirt collar, gets in his face, and hisses, “You so much as sneeze in his direction again and I’ll reach into your ugly mouth and pull your asshole up through your throat. You understand me, you worthless piece of shit?” Brett, who is on his tiptoes, nods vehemently, his butt-ugly face the color of milk.
    “Now fuck off while you can still walk!” Uncle Ray releases Brett, who scrambles to his bike and tears off, Misty chasing after him and yelling, “Hey, wait up!”
    Uncle Ray extends his hand, pulling me to my feet. “You gonna let him get away with that?”
    “C’mon, you saw how big he is!”
    “He bullies you ’cause you let him,” he says. “One good blow to the tip of his nose and he’ll leave you alone.”
    “Yeah, but first I’ll get killed.”
    “Not if you do it right.”
    Uncle Ray holds up his flattened hand. “Make a fist and hit me with all you’ve got.”
    “Look, Uncle Ray, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly the physical type.”
    “You’re perfectly capable, just need to develop your upper-body strength. Now shut up and hit me!”
    I punch him as hard as I can.
Ouch.
    “You call that a punch? Try it again. C’mon, faster and harder.”
    So I hit again.
    “Faster!”
    I fire away, remembering what Coach Turkle said earlier today: “You’re stronger than you think, Eckhardt.”
    Uncle Ray drops his hand. “Not bad. You have potential, kid.”
    I blink at Uncle Ray a moment. “You serious?”
    “I’ve known a hundred guys like that idiot. The only thing they respect is pain. If you want him to leave you alone, you gotta take no prisoners. C’mon, let’s put your bike in the trunk.”
    I’ve never ridden in a convertible before. It’s low to the ground. The leather seat feels good against my legs, and the wind whips my hair as the sun blasts my upturned face. Used to riding in my mom’s high-up Buick, I feel as if I’m sitting in the cockpit of a jet fighter. I gaze in awe at the glass-covered dials of the instrument panel and the big black-and-white fuzzy dice dangling