of practice would be . . . a lie, actually. Our only hope was that the coaches would decide to have us watch the entire game from the safety of the sidelines. We also wondered what our teammatesâ reactions would be to our presenceâif some among them had been involved in the hazing, theyâd realize that we werenât quitting the team.
When we boarded the bus after school, I studied each teammateâs face carefully to see who looked surprised or dismayed. Whoever the masked hazers were, they werenât expecting to see us show up on the bus, and they surely wouldnât be happy about it. But as I scanned their faces, I felt halfway disappointed and halfway impressed. Nobodyâs face betrayed anything. The girlsâ team was on the bus as wellâtheir game was right before oursâso a lot of the guys were chatting up the girls. Whoever the hazers were, they were pros.
I grabbed Frankâs arm. âLetâs split up,â I whispered. âIf we strike up conversations with our seatmates, maybe weâll learn if anything similar has happened to other people.â
He slipped into a seat next to a junior named Ty. I kept walking and finally slid into a bench next to a sophomore, Gabe. Iâd noticed at practice yesterday that he was small, but really fast.
âHey,â I said, trying to look friendly. âIâm Joe.â
He nodded, pulling out headphones. âGabe,â he said. âWhassup?â
Friendly, I noted. Either doesnât hate me or is good at faking it.
âNot much,â I said. âKind of nervous about this game, honestly.â
The bus rumbled to a start and we began driving toward Mill Valley, where the game would be played.
âThe first game is tough,â Gabe said knowingly. âYou just have to play your best.â
âWhen was your first game?â I asked.
âThis past fall,â he replied with a shrug. âIt was tough. But at least I had a bunch of other guys starting with me.â
âHow many guys on the team were new last fall?â I asked.
Gabe thought a minute. âMaybe ten, twelve?â
âWas it . . . hard?â I asked. âI mean, the team seems pretty tight. And Iâve heard . . .â I paused, looked around, and lowered my voice. No one near us seemed to be listening. âRumors.â
Gabe looked startled. âUm . . . what do you mean?â
I cleared my throat. âIâve heard if you donât play well, things might happen to you.â
Gabe suddenly seemed uncomfortable. Jackpot, I thought. âOh, thatâs probably exaggerated,â he said. âI wouldnât worry.â
Time to go in for the kill. âDid that happen to you?â I whispered.
âWhat?â he asked nervously.
I looked around again to make sure no one was listening, then leaned in. âDid something . . . happen , if you didnât play well?â
Gabeâs eyes darted around anxiously.
I lowered my voice even further. âI just want to be prepared, if anything goes down. I know I didnât play so great yesterday. I want to try my best, but . . .â I paused. âI also want to know whatâs in store for me.â
Gabe seemed really nervous now. He looked from me, to his hands clenched in his lap.
âCan I tell you something?â I whispered. âSomething happened last night. . . .â In the lowest voice I could manage, I gave him a play-by-play of the night beforeâincluding the pedestal and the near branding. At certain points Gabeâs eyes widened in what looked like recognition.
âIâm just not sure how much more I can take,â I said finally. I was being sincere, too. âCan you tell me what happens if you donât do what they want?â
By this point Gabe had flushed bright red. He looked all around him, like he wanted to see whether anyone was listening. Seemingly satisfied, he leaned in and said in a