Board Stiff (An Elliott Lisbon Mystery) Read Online Free PDF Page A

cushions. The last few members quickly took their seats.
    Jeremy Turco sat midway down the table. The youngest member of the board, but with the oldest money. Like before they printed it on paper.
    Chas Obermeyer sat at the far end of the table. He worked at Charter Bank, Vice President of something. He was good-looking in an aging ex-Prom King sort of way. Wavy blond hair, but thinning on top; wide shoulders, but a doughy middle.
    Deidre Burch chose a chair on the right side of the table. She had a bouncy gray bob and kept a pair of orange reading glasses on a beaded string around her neck.
    And Jane Hatting, she of the flaming Godzilla firestorm, towered at the head of the long table wearing a tailored pantsuit in a striking shade of fuchsia. She wore a flower pin on her lapel and pearls around her neck.
    Every seat was filled, save Leo Hirschorn’s. I remembered Jane’s threat of sitting a new board at this meeting and wondered if she knew something I didn’t.
    I sat in my usual armchair just behind Jane to the left; Tod sat in his on the right. We weren’t actually on the board. We were more like observers. Or, as with our party hosting duties, referees. I took a deep swig of Pepsi and prepared for Jane’s opening remarks. I wasn’t sure if she would assume her usual acerbic attitude or opt for some measure of grief over Leo’s death. However, I was so ill-prepared for the boundless joyful song that sprung from her lips, I snorted Pepsi up my nose in an attempt to avoid spitting it across her backside. Carbonation bubbles dribbled down my throat. I coughed and Tod thumped my back as if I was a child choking on a chicken bone.
    All the while, Miss Sunshine pattered on, her voice so cheery, I expected blue birds to dance above her head. “—this  glorious day. I’m excited to seat some fresh new blood. Shall we begin?”
    Fifteen faces stared silently at this creature in a bright pink suit.
    “What have you been drinking?” Jeremy Turco said.
    “So, I’m in a good mood. It happens. No need for a roll call, I see we’re all here,” Jane said. She flipped open a wide leather portfolio. Humming.
    “Oh no, dear, poor Leo isn’t here,” Zibby said and adjusted her backwards hat.
    “Nope. I guess he won’t be getting his seat renewed,” Jane replied. “Now, any nominations? I have a short list prepared.”
    “Jesus, Jane. That’s cold, even for you,” Chas Obermeyer said.
    “Maybe we should say something about Leo first,” Zibby said.
    “Like who killed the man,” Deidre Burch chimed in, her readers now perched on her head. “Anyone know who did the deed? You’re looking particularly chipper, Chas.”
    “Yeah, and you’re a little green, Deidre,” Chas replied, sounding even more like an old football star, biting back at the nerd in the class.
    I put my hand up to stop the blithe banter, but Deidre interrupted me before I could speak. “Oh, don’t look so shocked, sugar. We’re all thinking somebody here is guilty.”
    I dropped my hand and thought she might be right. I studied the faces around the table. Who here knew about Leo’s Shelter Initiative? Did they kill him to stop it? But why stop a homeless shelter?
    “Could’ve been Leo’s wife,” Jeremy said. “He was swinging some major babe around the party. Red dress, serious arm candy, man. Definitely not Bebe Hirschorn.”
    “Do you think Bebe iced him?” Zibby asked.
    Several board members leaned forward. Whitney Tattersall was so transfixed, she put her elbow in a pat of soft butter.
    “Well, I didn’t see Bebe at the party,” Whitney said. “Do you think she left him?”
    “If she saw Leo with a babe, she would’ve been pissed,” Deidre said.
    “Who wasn’t pissed at Leo?” Jane said. “He was an ass and now he’s dead. His loss, our gain. Now we can put someone more deserving on the board and I never have to see that ridiculous cowboy hat again.”
    “Well, gee, Jane, tell us how you really feel,” Chas