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try and figure out what we could have done to avoid what happened. But all we do is second-guess ourselves. Because the truth is that you can make yourself insane worrying about these things. The harsh truth—as least as far as I’m concerned—is that the universe is indifferent to us. Our endless second-guessing just makes it harder for us to realize that it’s all utterly random. And all we can do, in deciding how to live our lives, is to make our best guess and move on.”
    “I can’t move on.” She drew a hand across her stomach. “I’m carrying thisconstant reminder of what could have been …”
    “It can still be.”
    “Not with my husband. I can’t …”
    Faia pointed a stern finger at her. “Don’t you dare let the next words out of your mouth be ‘
do it without him
.’ ” When Mallory said nothing further, Faia continued. “You’re a Ranger, Mallory. I’ve known a few Rangers in my time, including my daughter. I know the type; I know the mind-set. And there is nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it. If some Rangers can stare down an Ursa and be unafraid, I think you can control your fear of an infant.”
    “It’s not just the baby. It’s what it represents.”
    “It represents responsibility. That’s what Rangers are all about.”
    She had been walking steadily toward Mallory, and now she rested a hand on her shoulder. “Look … I have no intention of lecturing you.”
    “I don’t feel like that’s what you’re doing,” Mallory lied.
    “Well, I’m skirting it, at the very least. Ultimately, I can’t tell you what to do. It’s not my place and besides, my personal life is so difficult that I’m hardly the person to lecture anyone else. Listen: We both know the pain of losing loved ones. And we also know the incredible demands that a sense of duty places upon us. I may not be a Ranger myself, but my husband wrote the book on the Ranger mind-set … literally.”
    “What?” Then suddenly everything fell into place. “Faia … Raige. Your husband is Cypher Raige. The Original Ghost. The Commanding General. I’m so sorry. I … I should have—”
    “Should have what? Stood at attention the whole time?” She smiled slightly, but then the smile faded. “I suppose what it comes down to is that no answer is the absolute right one. You have to choose a path, and it’s going to be irrevocable no matter what you do. It’s always daunting when there’s no going back. And there are always sacrifices to be made.”
    “And who am I”—once more Mallory put her hand on her stomach—“to make decisions that could wind up sacrificing someone else’s life without them having the slightest say in it?”
    “Making decisions on behalf of your children—some of them life and death—comes with the territory. Less hardy women than you have dealt with it and come through fine. Like I said, there’s no easy answer. But I know this: What’s the most important thing? Children being born? Or the world they’re being born into?”
    “So you think I should—”
    “I think,” she said encouragingly, “that you have to make a decision you yourself can live with. And once you’ve done that, everything else will fall into place.” She squeezed her shoulder in solidarity.
    That evening, in his office, Colonel Green looked up from his desk and saw Mallory standing in the doorway. She was wearing her uniform, freshly pressed.
    She saluted sharply.
    “Lieutenant Mallory McGuiness reporting for active duty, sir. For as long as it’s physically possible, at any rate.”
    He studied her for a long moment. “Are you sure?”
    “A Ranger’s first priority is to serve Nova Prime. The sooner Junior here learns that”—she nodded downward—“the better off we’ll all be.”

vi
    For this? I went through all that agonizing for this?
    Mallory glanced at her two fellow Rangers. Corporal Abbey was tall and powerfully built, and his enthusiasm for his duty as a Ranger