Best Friend's Brother Read Online Free PDF Page A

and surreal as the ones leading up to
it. I was sitting at the kitchen table in my parents’ house about a week and a
half after she died, staring down at a bowl of cereal I’d poured, but didn’t
really want to eat. I was wondering if things would ever be normal again. No
one seemed to know how to move on. My mom spent most of her time sleeping. That
was crazy because she was one of the most active people I’d ever known. I think
it just helped dull the pain or pass the days…it was her way of coping, I
guess. My dad was the opposite. He worked for a newspaper in the printing room.
He was the manager, actually so he wasn’t expected or required to work more
than his forty hours. Hell, he wasn’t even expected to be back at work yet. He
told me he had to go. He couldn’t stand to be at home. All he did when he was
home was remember that he’d never see his little girl again.
    My grandparents went home, but my Aunt Karen stayed
to look after Mom for a while. I was grateful for that, because I hated leaving
her alone when Dad was at work…but I know myself and a
caretaker , I am not. I didn’t know what to say was the biggest problem.
I wanted to talk about her, but it made my mom sad and my dad uncomfortable. I
hoped that eventually they would be able to remember her out loud. Emma lived
her life out loud and she should be remembered that way. I tried talking to
some of my friends, but it wasn’t the same as talking to someone who knew her.
She had this really quirky sense of humor and this weird way of chewing her
food and her favorite animals were zebras, she had a whole collection of
stuffed ones in her room. Things like that were the things I wanted to remember
about her and talk about, but it was hard to do with people who didn’t know
her.
    I thought about Alexa. I had thought about her a lot
since the funeral. She was the only one since Emma died that I had actually
been comfortable talking to about my little sister. She was sad like the rest
of us, but she also seemed to want to remember and talk about the good times. I
considered calling her but there was a part of me that felt weird about it. I
didn’t really know her. She had been in and out a lot over the years with Emma
but she was a kid and I was more often than not, wrapped up in my own issues,
so I never paid much attention to her. Emma and I only got really close the
past couple of years. I’d always been protective of her, but I hadn’t ever
really taken the time to get to know her until after we were both grown. Once
again, I’d have to blame that on how wrapped up I’d been in my own problems.
    “Hey buddy, how are you doing?” I looked up. My Aunt
Karen had come into the room.
    “I’m doing alright,” I said. “How’s Mom today?”
    Karen poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down
across from me. “She’s doing as well as we can expect her to for now…I think. I
just cannot even begin to imagine what she’s going through. As much as we all
loved Emma…there’s no pain comparable to that of losing a child.”
    “Yeah, I can’t imagine either. I wish I knew what to
do for her.”
    Karen reached over and put her hand on mine. “You’re
doing everything right, Ian. We are all so proud of the way you’ve been here
for your mom and dad through all of this.”
    I raised an eyebrow and wondered if they all really
thought I wouldn’t be here for them. I guess I deserved it if they did. The way
I lived my life had always been less than conventional and it had caused my
parents more than one sleepless night, I’m sure. “Thanks,” I said. “But, if I’m
doing everything right, it’s by accident. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m
lost, Aunt Karen.”
    “I know honey, I feel the same way. You just have to
try and get yourself back into your normal routine…day by day until you’re
living again. It feels disrespectful sometimes for us to go on living when
someone we love hasn’t had the chance to do that. But whether