used to have in the sherbert slimming-pool! And how our husband laughed when we put a scorpion into the Chamberlain’s slacks. Jujube, he used to call me. Ah, well…
Till Monday, then.
I yearn upon you with my large intestine.
Berry
“You might,” said Daphne, “have told him what the Dean said.”
“My sweet,” said Berry, “if he does these things in the green-room, what will he do in the flies? If be knew what the Dean had said, he’d order a portable garage and two more cars.”
Monday came at last, and my cousin with it.
Precisely at a quarter to one, a long, low, open car came to rest in the drive. At least, it seemed low then. It was blue and was built to take seven – and so it did. The back seat was extremely comfortable. The tonneau was very roomy. This was as well, for my cousin had brought twelve tires and fifteen tubes – on sale or return. The chauffeur was a pleasant-faced man, whose name was Fitch.
While Jonah expounded its virtues, we moved about the vehicle, marking its points.
“It’s very nice-looking,” said Daphne. “How fast can it go?”
“Just over fifty,” said Jonah. “But thirty-five is her pace: she’s smoothest then.”
“What about twenty?” said Berry.
“She won’t do twenty in top. At twenty-two or three you have to change down.”
“Forgive my ignorance,” said Berry, “but which of the gears do you most often employ?”
Jonah shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, the great idea,” he said, “is to keep her in top. If you see a hill coming, you rush it – if you possibly can.”
“I see,” said Berry. “In other words, one’s main object is to maintain an unlawful speed – to do anything rather than sink to the level prescribed by law.”
“That’s what it amounts to,” said Jonah. “But twenty-five is nothing. After a mile or two you seem to be crawling along.”
“I see,” said Berry thoughtfully. “Well, before we go out, we’d better inquire which way the Colonel’s gone. My learned brother, Colonel Buckshot. I mean, I’m sitting on Thursday:
and if on Wednesday we met him, when we were rushing a hill…”
“He’s got to get used to it,” said Jonah.
“Yes, I wasn’t thinking of him,” said Berry. “If I’m to violate the law one day and administer it the next, I’d just as soon not ram this elegant inconsistency down the Colonel’s throat. It’s just possible it might stick in his gullet. Oh, and talk about not letting your right hand know what your left hand doeth…”
We handed Fitch over to Peters and went to lunch.
Two days later we put the car to the test. In a word, we went out for the day – to Sacradown and back. This was a great adventure, for Sacradown was seventy miles away.
The day was brilliant, and distance faded into a haze of heat. Fleeting the well-known ways was an enchanting exercise. Jonah was driving, with Fitch in the seat by his side. Behind them, Daphne, Berry and I sat in excited silence, tasting the joy of speed.
It was not quite ten o’clock and we were twelve miles from White Ladies, when one of the hind tires burst.
Jonah steadied the car and brought her, going short, to the side of the road.
For a moment nobody spoke.
Then—
“I suppose the thing’s broken,” said Berry. “I thought it was too good to be true. Oh, and where’s the Red Cross outfit? I’ve slipped my spinal cord.”
The chauffeur left his seat and my sister opened her eyes.
“Does it often do this?” she said.
Jonah spoke over his shoulder.
“The day is hot,” he said, “and although you won’t believe it, we were doing fifty-one. Under such conditions tires sometimes lose their temper.”
“The wages of sin,” said Berry. He looked round comfortably. “At least, it’s a pleasant spot, and I’m ripe for a nap. I didn’t have a good night. Daphne had eaten something, and—”
“You wicked liar,” said his wife.
“D’you mean to say I dreamed it? It was remarkably
Till Monday, then.
I yearn upon you with my large intestine.
Berry
“You might,” said Daphne, “have told him what the Dean said.”
“My sweet,” said Berry, “if he does these things in the green-room, what will he do in the flies? If be knew what the Dean had said, he’d order a portable garage and two more cars.”
Monday came at last, and my cousin with it.
Precisely at a quarter to one, a long, low, open car came to rest in the drive. At least, it seemed low then. It was blue and was built to take seven – and so it did. The back seat was extremely comfortable. The tonneau was very roomy. This was as well, for my cousin had brought twelve tires and fifteen tubes – on sale or return. The chauffeur was a pleasant-faced man, whose name was Fitch.
While Jonah expounded its virtues, we moved about the vehicle, marking its points.
“It’s very nice-looking,” said Daphne. “How fast can it go?”
“Just over fifty,” said Jonah. “But thirty-five is her pace: she’s smoothest then.”
“What about twenty?” said Berry.
“She won’t do twenty in top. At twenty-two or three you have to change down.”
“Forgive my ignorance,” said Berry, “but which of the gears do you most often employ?”
Jonah shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, the great idea,” he said, “is to keep her in top. If you see a hill coming, you rush it – if you possibly can.”
“I see,” said Berry. “In other words, one’s main object is to maintain an unlawful speed – to do anything rather than sink to the level prescribed by law.”
“That’s what it amounts to,” said Jonah. “But twenty-five is nothing. After a mile or two you seem to be crawling along.”
“I see,” said Berry thoughtfully. “Well, before we go out, we’d better inquire which way the Colonel’s gone. My learned brother, Colonel Buckshot. I mean, I’m sitting on Thursday:
and if on Wednesday we met him, when we were rushing a hill…”
“He’s got to get used to it,” said Jonah.
“Yes, I wasn’t thinking of him,” said Berry. “If I’m to violate the law one day and administer it the next, I’d just as soon not ram this elegant inconsistency down the Colonel’s throat. It’s just possible it might stick in his gullet. Oh, and talk about not letting your right hand know what your left hand doeth…”
We handed Fitch over to Peters and went to lunch.
Two days later we put the car to the test. In a word, we went out for the day – to Sacradown and back. This was a great adventure, for Sacradown was seventy miles away.
The day was brilliant, and distance faded into a haze of heat. Fleeting the well-known ways was an enchanting exercise. Jonah was driving, with Fitch in the seat by his side. Behind them, Daphne, Berry and I sat in excited silence, tasting the joy of speed.
It was not quite ten o’clock and we were twelve miles from White Ladies, when one of the hind tires burst.
Jonah steadied the car and brought her, going short, to the side of the road.
For a moment nobody spoke.
Then—
“I suppose the thing’s broken,” said Berry. “I thought it was too good to be true. Oh, and where’s the Red Cross outfit? I’ve slipped my spinal cord.”
The chauffeur left his seat and my sister opened her eyes.
“Does it often do this?” she said.
Jonah spoke over his shoulder.
“The day is hot,” he said, “and although you won’t believe it, we were doing fifty-one. Under such conditions tires sometimes lose their temper.”
“The wages of sin,” said Berry. He looked round comfortably. “At least, it’s a pleasant spot, and I’m ripe for a nap. I didn’t have a good night. Daphne had eaten something, and—”
“You wicked liar,” said his wife.
“D’you mean to say I dreamed it? It was remarkably
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