Backfire Read Online Free PDF Page B

not been too bad since he was back on full duty.
    “How’s Casey?”
    “Doing good. Still staying strong.  Proving me wrong everyday, which I’m okay with.”
    Dr. Bowen arched her eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”
    Michael scoffed and leaned forward in the chair.  “You know exactly what I mean.  I’ve told you this every week for the past four weeks.  I’m scared he’s gonna screw up.  I’m scared he’s gonna relapse like all the times before.  I’m scared he’s gonna show up on my stoop again, bringing all of his troubles in to my life without even blinking.” He trailed off when he saw her frantically writing things down.  He felt like he had said too much at once. 
    “Well, as you said McGinnis, he’s been proving you wrong each day.” She put the pen down and adjusted her reading glasses.  “Still having a lot of thoughts about that day you got trapped in the warehouse?”
    He didn’t want to get into this, but knew not speaking looked worse than bearing his soul.  “I had a dream the other night about getting trapped with a little girl.  The details are vague.  I just remember choking and not being able to breathe.  Then I woke up.”
    “What about Viper?”
    M ichael didn’t answer right off and allowed a long and awkward silence fill the room.  He could hear the ticking of the second hand on the clock above her desk. It seemed like forever before she spoke .
    “Michael, have you thought about Viper any?” Her question was soft.
    “Yeah, I have. I think about him probably more than I should,” he replied.
    “What kind of thoughts are they?”
    He gripped the armrests of the chair tightly, picking his words wisely.  “Any time he creeps in to my head I feel angry.  I think about how he took my best friend’s life in one of his warehouse fires.  Darryl’s death was my fault and I hate Viper for doing all of this to us.” He looked at his watch again, wishing this hour session would go by faster than it was.  “I mean, what the hell do you want me to say? I think about Viper and get all cheery?  That I want to shake his hand and hug him?”
    Dr. Bowen nodded, but didn’t say a word as she looked at him.  It made Michael uncomfortable.
    “What?”
    “I think part of the way you can get over your PTSD is forgiving Viper. It’ll help with all of the unresolved anger you have built up inside of you.  If you can get through that, it’ll trickle down to your other problems.”
    Scoffing, he began to fidget again.  “Forgive Viper?  Don’t make it sound so easy, Doc.  I don’t think I can do that.”
    She peered over her glasses.  “Oh, I think you can, McGinnis.  Looking at your department file, I surmise that you are full of lots of compassion.”
    “How so?”  His tone was coming off as overbearing and it wasn’t his intention.
    “Just from the different things I’ve read about numerous saves you’ve made over the course of your employment with the department.  Superiors talking about your bravery, your camaraderie with others, your extreme passion for protecting children.”
    He scrubbed the palm of his hand over his face, glancing at the time again.  “All of that stuff is gone now.”
    “Explain what you mean by that, Michael.”
    “All of that positive stuff in my department jacket is cancelled out now that it’s on record that I’m seeing the department shrink.  I’m not the firefighter I was before all of this bullshit happened.  All thanks to Viper, and here you are suggesting that I forgive him for taking so much away.  Screw forgiveness.”
    Dr. Bowen folded her arms over her chest.  “Start with the positive.  At least you and Casey survived.  You still have your lives. I understand he took Darryl’s, but don’t look at all of that.”
    Michael didn’t respond.  He had no idea what to say.  He was done talking and was now worked up for no reason.  He was craving a shot of whiskey. He wanted to feel the burn flow down to