memory lane as I do.”
“That’s good. Lot’s of good times back then.”
She turned to look at him, her expression sharp with concern. “How are you doing with everything?”
The question caught Michael off guard. Standing up, he grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and took a long pull off of it. Thunder rumbled outside and raindrops fell hard against the kitchen window above the sink. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve had a rough few months. You really haven’t said much to me about it. I’ve just wondered how you are handling all of it.”
Sitting back down, he thumbed through another album, which had pictures from their teenage years in it. Those were times he wished he could forget. “I’m doing okay. I mean, I have moments where I’ll think about it all, but I just try to think about something else when that happens .”
“You know if you need to talk about anything , we don’t always have to talk about Casey .” She gave him a small nudge. “Don’t downplay what you went through. You’re a tough man for getting through it and protecting your baby brother. You understand that, right?”
Michael wasn’t sure why, but he felt embarrassed. His face heated up and he hoped his mom didn’t notice his discomfort. “I’m not downplaying it, Ma. If you’re wondering about my drinking, yeah, I get cravings a lot. I’ll walk by a liquor store and just stop at the window and stare inside. It gets to the point where I can taste the whiskey in my mouth. And then I feel something just shove me along, sort of guiding me away.” He sipped on the water again. “I give a lot of credit to Eva. She’s really keeping me grounded. What happened with Viper is over. We both made it through. It’s history. Like you said out on the porch earlier, one day at a time.” He was shocked at how easily the words flew out of his mouth. She was always so good at getting him to talk without even pressing the matter much.
“You’re absolutely right, Michael. I’m very proud of you.”
Visiting his mother was a good decision. Upon leaving her house, he had felt a sense of ease he hadn’t experienced in a long while. On his commute back to Hell’s Kitchen, her advice, though short and sweet, was like an express train running full force at him.
One day at a time. He had to remember that for his own personal life, as well as Casey’s recovery. He had to cross bridges when he got to them.
Chapter Three
Michael sat in the waiting room of the psychologist’s office and glanced down at his watch. One stipulation of him getting to work back on the truck was to have a weekly visit with the FDNY shrink. It embarrassed him and he wasn’t all for the idea, but if it meant getting back to work, he’d humor the bosses. He had a shift that day, but the captain let him come in late on days he had appointments.
He stared at the different artwork on the walls. Things advertising different FDNY services were everywhere, as well as cheesy quotes about pushing through and being strong. He felt like an idiot. If his dad was alive, he’d laugh in is face for allowing some stupid event to take over his life the way it had.
After a few more minutes of waiting, Dr. Bowen greeted him and led him to her of fice. She was an older woman and had kind eyes. He sat across from her and always waited for her to speak first. He never knew what to say until she initiated some form of conversation.
“So, McGinnis, how have things been going since our last visit?”
Shrugging, Michael fidgeted in his seat. He felt as if he were under a microscope. “Same thing. Nothing going on.”
She held a writing pad on her lap and positioned a pen between her fingers, ready to write down all of his neurosis and quirks. Just once, he’d love to get to glimpse at the paper for even a few seconds, just to see her true opinion of him. It must have