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Candy Crush all day. Like always, the conversation was lighthearted and fun, giving me a brief reprieve from the hurt and heartache that generally weighed me down.  Then out of nowhere, there was an unmistakable shift in the conversation.
                  “Um…” Emily paused uneasily and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. “You remember that the opening of my dance studio is the Saturday of Labor Day weekend right?”
    “ Mmm hmmm,” I acknowledged with a mumbled affirmation sensing where the conversation was going.
    “Y ou are still coming right?” Emily inquired quietly.
    A silence fell over the phone for the first time in the hour long conversation. I want to go. I want to be there for her. I want to make up for all the things I’d purposely missed over the years. I want to be the friend to her that she’s always been to me. But going means confronting Emanuel and I’m not ready to see him. Not yet. I’m not quite ready to confront everything that happened the last time I was in Thomasville…or what happened when he came to Richland. I know he wants…or at least I know what he wanted before I ran away and abandoned him…again. Why do I keep doing this? He deserves better. This is why I need to let him go, I thought guiltily.
    “Sahara?”  Emily’s voice sounded nervous.
    “Hold on,” I huffed into the phone. Breathing heavily, I put the phone down and I sat up completely. I pushed the white embellished silk comforter and grey satin sheets off of my bare legs and I climbed out of the bed.  Standing beside the bed, I leaned against the nightstand.  Both of my hands gripped the sides of the small black table as I struggled to get ahold of my breath.
    Taking deep breaths, I was able to ward off a complete panic attack in only a couple of minutes. I crawled across the bed and picked up the phone that was discarded between the pillows.  The phone showcased my screensaver indicating that Emily had hung up.
    It’s probably for the best that she hung up. I need time to think and that conversation was heading downhill fast. I’ll just text her, I thought as I went to my text messages. Before I could think of what to text, I received a text message from Emily.
    Emily Mills: I hope you’re okay. I had to hang up because my doorbell rang and it was Dad and Manny. An hour early of course! Ugh! Anyway… I want you to be at my opening.  Manny’s going to be there (obviously) and I know that seeing him will be hard for you. But if there is any possible way you can think about it, I would appreciate it.  If you decide you can’t make it, I’ll understand. But I’d love to have you there.
    Emily Mills: PS- Be careful with this Ben character. He sounds smooth and sex with him isn’t going to fix your issues! I’ll call you back when they leave. Love you!
                  I laughed dryly. I love that girl, I thought as I shook my head at her mixture of vulgarity and sisterly affection. I looked up and noticed that the movie I was half-watching before Emily called had gone off.  In its place, Coming to America.
    My eyes instantly watered and I turned the T.V. completely off.  Coming to America used to be my favorite movie.  It used to make me smile just thinking about the hilarious characters and the comedic genius that was displayed on film.  Now it was just a painful reminder of a happier time in my life because Coming to America was Ty’s favorite movie too. 
    As the minutes rolled by in my silent bedroom, I felt myself sinking deeper into a pool of sadness, regret and guilt.  My chest constricted and my lip quivered. My stomach knotted up. The love I felt for him was ever present, but unlike before his accident, it was tainted with guilt.    Tyree deserved so much more than what I gave him.   He saved me from myself.  He brought me back to life. And what did I do? How did I repay him? I caused him heartache and pain.  He saved me and I hurt him.  He gave me