Awaken Read Online Free PDF Page A

upright, sway a little, try to get my bearings. The smoke is
all around me, burning my eyes, my throat. I realize then that it’s
coming out of the shanties. Some of them are even starting to fall
in on themselves. Oh gods! I start coughing and pull my wrapper
over my nose and mouth.
    I peer through the haze. I don’t see
nobody…where are they?
    “ Gra’da! Ben! Hey!” My voice
is loud in the dead quiet. “Shelly! Molly! Anybody?”
    There ain’t no answer. I take a couple
of steps through the ghostly wisps of smoke but I cain’t see a
soul.
    “ Ben! Gra’da….can anybody
hear me?”
    I’m screaming now but I cain’t help it.
I’m scared. Why ain’t anybody answering me? I stumble to our
shanty. The roof is all fallen in and there’s smoke bellowing out
the open door. No, gra’da ain’t in there, I tell myself. He cain’t
be. He and the others, they must have gone somewhere safe, I think.
I just have to find them. I run to the next shanty, and the
next….still calling out their names.
    The smoke is over powering, it’s hard
to see, to breathe, but I don’t stop, I’m desperate to find
somebody.
    I make my way to Lou’s shanty at the
edge of the riverbed. His copper still is knocked down, all broken
and twisted.
    “ Lou’s gonna be pissed,” I
think dully.
    There’s still flames burning inside the
shanty but I run right up to it anyways calling out his name,
hoping for an answer.
    That’s when I see them.
    They’re spread along the edge of the
riverbed like everyone of ‘em lay down to take a rest all at the
same time. All in a line so neat that maybe, I’m thinking, maybe
they are sleeping, even though the pain blossoming in my chest is
saying else wise. I don’t want to go any closer but my feet start
moving on their own as if they belong to someone else.
    “ No, no, no, no!”
    A miserable wailing reaches my ears and
it takes me a moment to figure out the sound is coming out of
me!
    Lou is the first I see. His arm is
lying across his chest and his sightless eyes are staring up at the
sky like he was just cloud watching. There’s a dark red stain
spread out underneath his arm. My chest tightens and I start
gasping for air, but I keep looking.
    I see Shelly lying where she fell, all
bloody and still. Thomas is crumpled over her, like he was trying
to protect her. Then Ben’s ma and pa. They’re holding hands but
their eyes are open. Lifeless. Dead. At the sight of them my legs
go out from under me and I fall to my knees.
    I cain’t look no more! I want to
scratch my eyes out so as not to look at them anymore! But my eyes
don’t listen to my brain and they keep searching ‘til they find the
familiar face.
    Gra’da!
    I crawl to him on my hands and knees,
the sharp rocks biting into my palms but I don’t even feel it. I
realize I’m sobbing his name as if expecting an answer. I grab his
hands, they’re still warm! Maybe he’s okay, I think, even though
he’s got the same bloody hole in his chest like the others. I cover
the wound with my hand, willing him to be okay…just like when he
was real sick. I willed him better then, I can do it again. Come on
gra’da…wake up, wake up…..wake up damn it!
    He don’t wake up.
    Feels like there’s a knife twisting in
my chest….ripping me open! I ain’t ever felt such pain! Surely my
heart will burst from the pain!
    “ No gra’da…” I whisper. I
rub his face, his whiskers are rough against my hand. His blue eyes
are open….staring. I close them gently, kiss his forehead. I ain’t
even realized I was crying ‘til I see my tears splash onto his
cheek.
    The pain overtakes me. It hurts so bad!
I wrap my arms around him and lay beside him, hoping….wishing for
the pain to take me too. I close my eyes. I don’t want to look no
more. I don’t want to see any more dead faces of the people I love.
I don’t want to see Ben’s brown eyes with the light all snuffed
out.
    Some time passes…. I don’t know how
long I laid there. I