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cain’t rightly say I would have ever got back
up but through the mist of pain I hear my name! It’s all low and
choky like somebody was trying to talk through a mouth full of root
wad, but I hear it!
    “ Tara…”
    I sit up, listening. I start to think
my mind is playing tricks on me when I hear it again. Then a slight
movement on my right…. somebody is moving! It’s Molly! I crawl to
her, reaching for her like she’s a lifeline. I grab her hand,
bawling again….so overcome that somebody is still alive!
    “ Molly!”
    She has the same chest wound as gra’da,
as the others. I know it’s an iron shooter that’s caused it, and I
know chances ain’t good she’ll make it…but for now she’s
alive.
    “ They didn’t get….you
girl….good...” she says.
    “ Shhhh,” I say to her.
“Don’t try to talk…save your strength.”
    She pats the hand holding hers as if
she is trying to comfort me!
    “ Don’t fret…’bout me
child…my time…is passed…” She’s gasping for air and her chest is
making this awful gurgling sound. I shake my head and try to shush
her again but she ain’t done.
    “ They took…the young’uns…but
not you...” she says. She gets a coughing fit then and blood sprays
from her mouth all down the front of my tunic. I wipe the blood
from her mouth with my sleeve.
    “ Molly…just stay with
me….please!” I beg desperately.
    She grips my hand so tight it hurts me.
I cain’t understand how she has such strength…there’s so much
blood! Her eyes burn into mine something fierce.
    “ I seen it….aye I did… I
knew you…was special, child….they’re gonna need you…to show ‘em the
way...”
    That was all. She don’t talk no more.
She sighs gently and I watch as the light in her eyes just…fades
away. Her hand, so strong earlier, goes limp and I shake it
fiercely.
    “ Molly!” I cry.
“Molly!”
    It don’t do no good. She’s
gone.
    I kiss her calloused palm and lay her
hand gently by her side. A sob escapes me. I hurt, all over. I’m so
full of pain…fear. I wanna scream. Scream ‘til my throat bursts
just to get out some of the anger and hurt I’m feeling inside! I
run my hands through my hair, look around….alone... lost. I don’t
know what I should do now. I don’t know….
    Then slowly Molly’s words break through
my paralyzing grief and I recall what she said.
    “ They took the young’uns.”
They took them!
    I force myself to stand, to make my way
through the line of death. I look at every loved face lying there.
Everybody I’d ever known my whole life is lying there ….but not
young Thomas! Not Jane! Not Ben!
    My legs go numb again but this time
from relief. They’re still alive! A strangled laugh escapes me at
the thought but right away I cover my mouth with my hand, stifling
the sound. I instantly feel ashamed for feeling any kind of
happiness. How can I feel happiness when everybody else is gone?
Dead. I stagger away from the death around me, stare at the
horizon, at the sinking sun….anything but the carnage. It’s going
to be dark soon, I think. The day is almost done. My born day…I had
forgot. I look down at my tunic, at my gift from Ben, hoping that
somehow to see its beauty would erase some of the horror burned
into my brain. Instead all I see is blood. Gra’das…Mollys…I’m
covered in it.
    I bend over, grab my knees to keep from
falling, and retch on the ground. I retch ‘til there ain’t nuthin
left and the dry heaves take over. Finally, I spit and wipe a shaky
hand cross my mouth. Suddenly all I want to do is go! Get away from
the bloodshed, the death. But I know I cain’t. I cain’t leave them
like that, I think dully. It ain’t right to leave ‘em all out in
the open so as the crows and vultures can shite on them and pick
out their eyes…and worse. The thought of it makes my stomach heave
again. But I know there ain’t no way I’m going to be able to dig
graves for them all and bury them…not by myself.
    I mull it