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his mouth keeps twitching like he wants to smile in spite of himself.
    “Yeah? Well, you need to quit the white knight stuff,” Steve says as we walk past. “Not exactly keeping you out of trouble, is it?” He gives me a pointed look and I feel my face go hot.
    I head for the front door, but hesitate once I’m there. I’m never sure if I should just go in or knock.
    “Open it,” Cody says from behind me. I pull open the storm door, which is always unlocked.
    “Hey, your hand’s shaking.” Cody moves so that the storm door is resting on his back and we’re both huddled together. “Are you scared?”
    “You’re … we’re in trouble. Your parents …” I swallow and try to think of exactly how to ask him what his parents’ idea of punishment is. I haven’t told him or the sheriff about what our punishments were like back home. I’m not sure if I should. I know that if I do, the sheriff could take Will and the others away from the Community again. The Outsiders would see our punishments as brutal. It isn’t that I don’t agree, it’s just that I know that separating my friends from their families will feel even more brutal to them. “Um, how mad do you think they are on a scale of one to ten?” I finally ask.
    Cody’s eyes widen and then he gives me the one look I absolutely hate. The one that says he’s feeling sorry for me. I turn away so I don’t have to see it.
    “My parents will be mad, but they won’t hurt you. At the worst, Dad will yell a bit and Mom will be ‘disappointed.’ I’ll probably end up with an extra chore and no car for a bit. But you? You’ll be fine. They won’t punish you at all. Really.”
    I’m relieved, but I don’t feel better, which makes no sense. I’m afraid to get punished, then disappointed because I’m not treated just like Cody? What is that? I guess maybe the special treatment emphasizes my “special project” status. I’m not family. I don’t belong, not completely.
    Cody takes his key out to unlock the door and smiles at me one last time before he lets us in. We practically run right into his mom. She has the phone up to her ear. Herface is still sleep swollen and her hair is sticking up on one side. She looks at Cody and then at me and shakes her head. “Get in here.”
    Cody and I head for the kitchen. We sit at the table and wait for his mom to follow us. She’s on the phone for a minute or two more before she comes in, leans against the counter, and massages her temples. “Do you two have the slightest understanding of how stupid it was to go over there this morning?” She looks at me, and in spite of her irritation, her eyes warm a little.
    Cody grabs a banana from the bowl of fruit at the center of the table. He turns it over in his hands, but doesn’t peel it. “I know, we’re sorry.”
    “All that media and Libby Dickerson with her parent group protesting. Not to mention Lyla’s people. You’re lucky that a riot didn’t erupt! You could’ve been hurt. Your dad had enough to worry about out there. This wasn’t the day for a stunt like this.” She’s talking mainly to Cody.
    Cody sighs and finally peels his banana. He shoves half of it in his mouth in one bite. I watch him chew. I don’t think he knows what to tell her.
    “I’m sorry. It was my idea. I just … needed to see for myself.…” I trail off. She’ll never understand. Pioneer isn’t even Pioneer to them. He’s Alan Cross, just some man with a criminal record, not a messiah.
    “Believe it or not, I do get it, Lyla.” Cody’s mom comes over to sit with us, puts her hand on my arm. “But today wouldn’t have brought you closure in the best ofcircumstances. It’s going to take time. You have to be patient. One day, honey, you’ll get it. You’re such a strong girl. You’ll make it through this, I don’t doubt that at all.” Her smile is so warm, so … motherly. It makes my heart hurt. My own mom wouldn’t have reacted like this. Ever.
    I want to