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him one. I just stared at him, terrified and paralyzed. Helpless. “I can’t tell you what to do, Ariah.”
    “ Yes, you can.”
    “ No, I can’t. I have preferences about this, strong preferences, and they are not rooted in what’s best for you or your training. My preferences are personal. I don’t…I don’t want to influence your decision, and I know I will if I give you advice.” He smiled slightly. For the first time since he laid the choices out to me, some of his warmth resurfaced. “You ought to trust your instincts more. You have a sound mind.”
    I dropped my head into my hands. I had spent hours thinking about the choice as it related to me. I spent seconds thinking about the choice as it related to him. I’d seen him with his sister, and I’d seen how the bond between them was a thing that brought him both deep comfort and a wealth of pain. My own future was a vague, unformed, looming thing. My future was something too fraught with unnamed failures to make sense of. I didn’t know how this decision would impact it. But I did know how it would impact him. “I’ll go with you.”
    He didn’t ask me if I was sure. He didn’t ask me why I made the choice I did. All he did was give my shoulder a quick pat as he passed by. That was enough to convince us both, I think, that I’d made the right decision.

CHAPTER 3

     
    Dirva, Abira, and I took the train from Rabatha to Tarquintia. In those early days of the railroad, Tarquintia was the furthest out the rails went. We made the rest of the trip on camelback. It was a slow trek. The desert out there is flat and empty; the days of travel were monotonous. My camel and I did not get along very well, and I spent most of the time keeping my feet tucked under me so he couldn’t bite them. It took us a week to reach the walls of the western border. We came to it in one of the empty places, where there was just us, the sand, and the wall. Dirva rode next to me when we got there. “Have you ever crossed the border?” he asked.
    “ No. I’ve only ever been in Ardijan and Rabatha.”
    “ Crossing the border is something you should go into with open eyes. They will separate us and interrogate us in different rooms. They will search our things and confiscate whatever they happen to like or whatever seems valuable.”
    “ We don’t have anything valuable left!” I said. We’d been searched at the train station. They’d taken some books and whatever cash they could find. They had tried to take Abira’s drums, but she managed to bribe a guard to let her keep them by trading most of her remaining City herb. It was, it turned out, one reason she’d brought it. Dirva lectured her about how stupid it was to use illegal drugs to bribe Imperial officials, but Abira pointed out it had worked more than once, and he grew silent and frustrated.
    “ They will find something to take,” Dirva said. “They will ask us why we are leaving the Empire, if we plan to return, when we plan to return, and they will ask each of us questions about the people with whom we are traveling. To prevent you from getting detained, you should look through Abira’s and my papers.” He pulled the papers out of his pocket and handed them to me. “Don’t lose them.”
    “ I won’t lose them,” I said, frowning at him.
    “ It bears mentioning,” Dirva said. “Remember: I am going to the City for personal reasons. Abira is returning home. You are with us because of your training.” He nudged his camel forward and trotted away from me before I looked at the papers.
    I had thought I would have trouble keeping everything straight. When I get nervous, when I am put on the spot, often my mind abandons me. I held the papers and wished that Dirva had not said anything. I thought it would have been easier on me. Sometimes when demands surprise me, I fare better than when I know answers will be demanded in advance. Abira’s papers were on top. They were stained and creased, just a sheaf of