Apeshit Read Online Free PDF Page A

thigh.

    “Quit it!” she shrieks, as if his pinches were razor-
    edged.

    He pinches her again and smiles.

    After a mile, the dirt road gets really rough and steep
    as it winds up the mountain. They slow down to about five

    miles per hour. On the left side of the trail, there is a drop-
    off. It starts off as only about ten feet, but as the road as-
    cends the drop-off becomes twenty, then thirty feet high.

    “This looks kind of dangerous,” Crystal says, as they
    ascend another twenty feet.

    “Yeah, I was always scared of this part when I was a
    kid,” Jason says. “But I don’t remember the road being this
    thin.”

    Rick sticks his head out of the window. The left side
    of the car is so close to the edge of the cliff that he can’t see
    the ground anymore. He looks down. The drop is nearly
    sixty feet into an ocean of pine trees. There is a loud scrap-
    ing noise that makes Rick jump and hit the back of his head
    against the window frame. He looks out of the right window
    and notices that the other side of the van is only inches away
    from a rock face. Branches from trees growing out of the
    earth are scratching across the doors.

    “Be careful, Jason,” Rick yells over the scraping
    noise. “We fall off this and we’re dead.”

    “Yeah,” Kevin says. “Even if we survive the fall,
    we’d never be able to get help from way out here.”

    The scraping is interrupted by a loud clunk as a rock
    jutting out of the ground hits the bottom of the van, bouncing
    them up and down.

    “I’ve got my cell phone,” Crystal says, holding up
    her phone. “We could just call for a rescue helicopter or
    something.”

    She looks at her phone.

    “Damn,” she says. “There aren’t any bars.”

    “There wouldn’t be any bars way out here,” Kevin says.

    The road gets even thinner. The ground gets rockier
    and bounces them higher.

    “Can you guys shut up,” Jason says. “I’m trying to
    concentrate here.”

    “You mean we’re completely cut off?” Crystal asks.

    “Completely,” Kevin says, smiling.

    At the top of the slope, the path turns right. It heads
    uphill, away from the cliff. The scraping stops and the road
    becomes less bumpy.

    “We made it!” Kevin says. “Booyah!”

    “The way back is the dangerous part,” Jason says.
    “You have to turn at just the right angle or you’ll go straight
    off the cliff. I’ll probably need you guys to get out of the van
    and navigate me.”

    “Shouldn’t you have rented something with four-
    wheel-drive?” Desdemona asks.

    “Nah,” Jason says. “My family used to come up here
    all the time and we never had four-wheel-drive.”

    “Well, it wouldn’t have hurt would it?” Desdemona
    says.

    “I guess it wouldn’t have.”

    After another mile of slow driving through thick

    woods, they come to a dead end.

    “Here we are,” Jason says.

    The others look around. They are surrounded by
    nothing but trees.

    “There’s nothing here,” Crystal says.

    “Follow me,” Jason says.

    They get out of the van and follow Jason through
    the trees. Kevin stays behind to check out the side of the
    van and laughs at the large sections of paint that have been
    stripped away by the trees.

    “Ah, dude !” Kevin calls, chuckling. “You fucked it
    up!”

    But Jason doesn’t care. He just says, “Fuck it.”

    They take a stone path through the overgrown pine
    trees until they come to a small clearing. On the other side
    of the clearing, hidden away from the rest of the world, is
    the cabin.

    It is a lofty three-story wooden structure that looks
    like it had been designed by Dr. Suess. Its frame is distorted
    and curved like melted plastic, at least a third of the build-
    ing is dangling off of a cliff. The wood of the building is
    weathered and splintered. The windows are caked in mud.
    Several shingles are missing from the roof. It is dead quiet.

    “This place is a dump,” Crystal says.

    “Yeah,” says Desdemona. “I thought this