Always (Bold as Love) Read Online Free PDF Page A

fragile Sweetness is all at once. She is one of the strongest people I know, but at the same time, she’s so fragile. Like glass. It’s strong and sturdy but one wrong move or bump and it’s shattered. Can she handle my absence for periods of time? If I were drafted, would I ask her to leave her Dad behind? It would be different to move out of state with her boyfriend than across the state with me for school.
    I overanalyze last night's conversation and the text I received from Conrad, who said that Emily admitted that something really was bothering her about my trip. Separation anxiety, her words to be exact. What kind of man would I be to continue putting Emily through that? Why is the thought of her moving farther away from Mike bothering me so much? I know why and I hate it. That Jake who is weak from fear of rejection not only wonders if she would want to come, but if I could ask her to leave her dad behind. Her home. Why am I even thinking about this? Nothing has even happened yet.
    Training for the day is over, and I crawl under the covers, reaching for my phone on the nightstand. My roomie is out of the room for the moment and I need to hear from Sweetness. She answers on the fourth ring, temporarily scaring me.
    “ Hey love,” she answers sleepily.
    “ I didn’t mean to wake you.”
    “ It’s fine. How was today?”
    With a deep breath, I spill partial beans about Eve, only telling her the first half of the conversation. Sweetness doesn’t say anything. She listens the entire time and stays silent, even after I finish.
    “Sweetness?”
    “ What do you think about what she said about us?”
    “ Sure, there’s some truth to it, but it doesn’t matter. I love you for you. The good and the bad.” And I do.
    “ I miss you,” she whispers.
    “ I miss you too. I’ll be home before you know it.”
     
    Daily, I’m thinkin’ about my Sweetness and how I wish to see her. Each night, the talk is pretty much the same. I miss you. I love you. How was your day? Each day, Eve gently reminds me of her advice. The worst part of this entire experience is that I'm actually considering it.
    Three days before I’m due home, our nightly talk takes a curve. One that I’m not prepared for coming from Emily.
    Sweetness sighs. “Jake, you being gone for two weeks is about to drive me to my wits end.”
    “ Same here, Sweetness,” I quickly input.
    “ Then how are we going to get used to not seeing each other for weeks or even months at a time if you get drafted?”
    I’m positive my silence doesn’t help much. If I get drafted, I would be traveling across the country playing with a rigorous schedule and Emily would be back home, unless she comes with me. Eve's words refresh in my mind once more, and I'm at a loss for words.
    “I’m not asking you to choose, Jake. Please know that. I would just like to have this figured out before the time comes.”
    I’m caught completely off guard by Sweetness' words. She doesn't expect me to ask her to come with me. My heart sinks a little, and I wonder if it's that she doesn't expect me to or if she already knows she would say no if I did ask, and that's why she's saying that I don't have to choose. It worries Sweetness when I don’t answer right away.
    “Jake? Love?”
    “ I’m here. I have always seen you, me, and the NHL. We’ll talk when I get home. I’m sure everything will work out as it should.”
    “ And what if that doesn’t include us being together?”
    “ It will,” I answer firmly.
    “ I love you,” Emily says and relief is evident in her voice.
    “ I love you too, Sweetness,” I answer, feeling full of regret because it's like I just lied about our future.

 
    7
     
    Emily
     
    With relief passing through, I quickly fall asleep. In the morning, Eve's words echo in my mind. Am I really a train wreck? Do I bring Jake down with me? What if the best thing for us to do is split up? I know that we are suppose to be thinking of all the good times during