chuckling.
Anna’s mouth hung wide open. She
couldn’t believe it. “But Melissa said things about picking him up,
and about taking him to lessons…” She tried to comprehend the
situation, but this was so unexpected that she still couldn’t quite
grasp it.
“Yeah, dog training lessons.” Brian
explained that he and Melissa had gotten Joey together while they
were dating, and although Melissa had him most of the time now,
Brian still would pick him up every once in a while to play with
him or take him to dog training. “I’d completely forgotten last
weekend that Melissa was busy on Sunday and had wanted me to watch
Joey for the day. I felt really bad when she texted, and then when
I called her, she was really angry and gave me a lot of grief for
it. That’s why I was in a bad mood, but I just didn’t want to bring
up Melissa on your birthday weekend. Anyway, she got one of her
friends to watch Joey and it wasn’t a big deal.”
Now it was Anna’s turn to put her head
in her hands. “I feel so stupid!” she said, completely embarrassed.
Now Brian probably thought she was a crazy person and wouldn’t want
to be with her anymore. She couldn’t believe that she’d just jumped
to conclusions like that. She should have trusted Brian.
“Don’t feel stupid,” said Brian, back
to being serious now. “The way Melissa talks about Joey, it’s as if
he’s her son, so I could see why someone would think that just from
her texts.” Brian sighed, “But I have to admit, I’m disappointed
that you don’t trust me. I thought you knew what kind of person I
was, and that I’d never hide something like that from you, or from
anyone.”
“I know, and I said I’m sorry,” said
Anna, “I guess things just seemed so perfect and it’s never been
that way for me. So when I saw that, I thought, here it is,
something needs to go wrong and this must be it.”
“I never gave you any reason to
distrust me and I’ve been nothing but upfront with you, Anna,”
Brian sighed again, and he suddenly seemed very tired. “I think we
both just need some space. We’ve been moving really fast. I’ve
liked the intensity of our relationship, but now I’m just not sure
that we’re both ready for it.”
Anna knew that Brian was talking about
her, not both of them, not being ready for the relationship. She
felt terrible, almost as if she was going to be sick to her
stomach. She told Brian she was just going to walk back to her car
at the office, and drive herself home.
“I’ll give you a ride,” he said,
softening a bit.
“No,” said Anna, “I want to walk. I
need some fresh air.” She walked slowly back to the office, moping
along in the summer heat. She couldn’t believe it—she and Brian had
something so amazing, and she’d gone and ruined it. Even though
Brian hadn’t broken up with her, she felt like that’s where it was
heading. How often did “breaks” end up just being breaks? The
sinking feeling in her stomach told her that it was over, and it
was all her fault. Why hadn’t she just trusted Brian like she
should have?
When she got home, Anna went straight
to her room and broke down in tears. She heard a knock on her door,
and her mom came in, concerned about her. Through her tears, she
explained to her mom everything that had happened, and how stupid
she felt.
“Oh, honey,” her mom said, wrapping
her arms around Anna’s quivering shoulders. “It’s not over. You
just have to think hard about whether you are ready for this
relationship, and if you are, then show Brian.”
“How am I supposed to show him that
I’m ready? I know I am, I just don’t know how he’s going to believe
me after I messed up like this,” sniffled Anna.
“Just be yourself. You’re still the
confident, intelligent woman he fell in love with. He’ll see
that.”
And so Anna got through the next few
weeks, keeping herself busy with the things she enjoyed. She gave
her everything at work, she spent time with her