Almost Lost Read Online Free PDF

than that.”
    â€œHow long?”
    â€œNot very long, now that you’ve decided to recharge, rechannel, and upgrade your life. Actually, no one else can do that for you no matter how hard they try! However, any good, friend, teacher, parent, sibling, counselor, priest, etc., can help you make a positive alteration in both your present and your future if you choose to allow them to do so.”
    â€œI’m allowing, I’m allowing. Let’s get on with my, from-repulsive-maggot-to-beautiful-butterfly-type metamorphosis—I hope.”
    â€œSounds good to me.”
    â€œBut I feel so unglued. How can I ever find the broken, lost pieces of myself and put them back together?”
    â€œDo you think maybe we should go back and find out why you made the decisions to do what you’ve done? ”
    â€œNo. No way! I want to forget all that crapola. I’ve got to get on with my life like you said I could.” (Sammy began to look frightened, dejected, and beaten.) I want to start over new. I want to go on and up, not back and down! Maybe you can’t or don’t want to help me. Maybe nobody wants to or can!”
    â€œYou’re wrong, dear, dear Sammy. I can and want to help you, but there’s no way I can do it if you close me out. It’s okay for you to disagree with what I propose, and I may not always be right in my assessment of a situation at first glance, but we’ve got to start somewhere. And I have a lot of training and experience in putting people back together who have felt fragmented.”
    â€œI know I’m just a wuss being paranoid, afraid of letting someone else get inside my head.”
    My hand reached out and patted his knee. “You’re a good kid, Sammy.”
    He smiled. “You sound like my mom.”
    â€œI take that as a great compliment.”
    â€œIt is.” He gave me two high fives.
    â€œLet’s try again to find a beginning place. That’s often the hardest thing to do in a therapy session.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œAre you sure? Completely sure you can trust me with the hurtful, destructive things that are inside your heart and head?”
    He hugged himself tightly, took a deep, deep breath and relaxed. “Ummmm…I guess I have to, don’t I?”
    â€œSome people I see can start from where they are at the moment in their rediscovery and recovery program. They don’t have to go back and regurgitate the past. With you, it’s different. You have the equivalent of some deep, inner, abscessed wounds that need to be cleaned out before they can begin to heal. You’ve got to get them cured before you can proceed with the rest of your healthy, happy life.”
    â€œAre you sure?”
    â€œThis session is going to be like taking out slivers. Remember when you were little, you probably had some big ones and some little ones. Some you fought having taken out, even though you knew they might get infected if they weren’t removed.”
    â€œI remember. Once I even had to go to the doctor to have him cut out a piece of glass in my foot.”
    â€œSo? Where do you want to start? With the worst slivers or the barely-there ones?”
    Sammy bowed his head and shriveled into himself. He seemed half as big as he had a few minutes before and about ten years younger. “I guess we’d better start with the big one. Everything bad and horrible started there.”
    â€œI’m sad that it’s going to hurt, Sammy. But again, I want you to know I deeply care about you, and anything you share with me will be considered absolutely secret and sacred.”
    Sammy’s eyes and nose started running in torrents. He didn’t bother to wipe the stuff away as he began blurting out his story.”
    â€œI was a happy, sunshiny, self-confident, king-of-the-mountain type little kid. Even after we got the divorce, which hurt a whole lot, I felt I was special, and that I could lick the