All Falls Down Read Online Free PDF Page A

me?
    "I'm sorry," I whisper, watching him walk away.
    "Goodnight, Savannah," I hear him say before the oak swallows his shadow again.
    It's a long time before I move.
     

     
    The funeral is beautiful, if such a thing can be beautiful. Reverend Haynes knew Matthew well and speaks eloquently about the kind of man he was – compassionate, generous, happy. By the time the choir finishes the final hymn all five hundred attendees are in tears. Everyone except me, anyway. I can't seem to find the tears Matthew deserves.
    Madeline and Kit sob openly, one on either side of me. Lexi clings tightly to Jared, his arm around her. Her face is pale and tears streak silently down her face. I've never seen her so heartbroken or so stunning before. Jared stares straight ahead, his jaw tense. He's so angry, but he's as beautiful as Lexi. Her perfect match.
    The thought makes me ache, though I don't know why.
    His family is arrayed on his other side, his father comforting his mother and teenage sister. They seem to know the sisters well. I don't know them, but I'm glad they came to pay their final respects to Matthew.
    My gaze moves back to Lexi just as she glances in my direction. She attempts to smile at me, but her lip quivers and the smile doesn't come. She turns toward the front of the church again, another tear rolling down her cheek.
    "Please stand," the reverend says.
    Shifts and sniffles resound throughout the vast church. Five hundred people rise to their feet and bow their heads. Kit and Madeline cling to my arms and I barely manage to get us all three up. My back throbs. My head hurts. I've barely slept. I wrap my arms around the girls anyway and allow them to cry on my shoulders.
    Reverend Haynes begins the final prayer.
    I feel eyes on me as he waxes on about heaven and the great things waiting for all of us there. I lift my head to find Jared staring at me. His eyes meet mine briefly and my heart rate picks up. He looks so–
    He jerks his gaze away before I can place the emotion.
    I lower mine again, shivering.
    A line begins to form down the center aisle. Madeline and Kit both bury their heads into my chest, unable to watch people approach the closed casket in ones and twos to say a final, private goodbye. The sounds of weeping intensify as mourners exit the building, tear-stained and regally dressed women led by stoic, well-dressed men.
    Madeline cries out, "Daddy" echoing from the rafters.
    God, I hate funerals.
     

     
    "How's she doing?" Jared asks from the doorway.
    I'm sitting beside Madeline on her bed, stroking her hair. I glance up to find that he's removed his suit jacket and tie. The top button of his shirt is undone… I shift my gaze back to Madeline.
    "She's sleeping," I whisper the obvious, being quiet so as not to wake her.
    It's been a difficult day for her. We finally had to give her a sedative an hour ago. She begged me not to leave her and I didn't have the heart to resist. I've been sitting beside her since, thinking.
    "That's good."
    I see Jared step into the room, but I keep my gaze firmly on Madeline's blonde ringlets. I'm too tired to examine why he makes me so jittery. I've been trying to sort it out all day. Every single time I glanced up to find him staring at me, as a matter of fact.
    It happened often, and I don't know why.
    "How's Lexi?" I ask, reaching out to pull Madeline's pink and brown quilt more closely around her. My hand brushes her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She is such a pretty girl. She'll be radiant in a few years, ravishing like Lexi and Kit.
    "Sleeping," he murmurs.
    "Kit?"
    "Grayson's with her." He takes another step into the room.
    "That's good," I mumble. Grayson and Kit go to school together. I think she's in love with him, but I don't know. Once again, my failure as a friend burns. How did I let it get so bad that I don't even know who she's dating? If she's dating?
    I shake my head, not ready to examine that question now. Maybe later, when I'm