Adventures of a Vegan Vamp: A Paranormal Cozy Mystery Read Online Free PDF Page A

snapped, “Vampires aren’t afraid of blood.”
    I considered whether I’d heard her correctly, decided I hadn’t, and then decided I had. And that was it. I doubled over, and I laughed till I cried.
    I laughed so hard that my side started to cramp up—and I kept laughing.
    Several minutes later, my hand firmly clutching my aching side, I looked up to find Dr. Dobrescu standing alone near the door. Again, the big guy had managed to leave without me noticing—and this time with a huge yellow janitor’s bucket on wheels. He was a sneaky one.
    “You’re a vampire.” She said as if by making the statement sound factual, it was somehow less ridiculous.
    “No. I’m not. You’re certifiable.”
    She clutched that darn clipboard close to her body, like a shield. Against me. The vampire. “You are.”
    “I’m not. And I’m not going to play that game. Vampires aren’t real. And clearly you’re not a real doctor. Did you even go to medical school?”
    Dr. Dobrescu named a prestigious medical school on the West Coast.
    “Oh.” I looked around the very normal office, with its normal exam table and normal posters. There were even those little canisters with cotton balls in them. “Well, maybe you’re a doctor, but that doesn’t mean you’re not crazy.”
    She sighed. “How did you lose twenty-five pounds in a handful of days?”
    “Starvation and a crazy-fast metabolism.” Obviously. Never mind that the same question had been burbling around in my head since I woke from my comatose state.
    She raised her eyebrows.
    “What? That could happen.” That so could not happen. “When’s Mr. Clean coming back? Because I will not go quietly if you try to commit me. Or—” I made a stabbing motion. “You know, stake me.”
    Dr. Dobrescu’s eyes grew large in her face. I thought I’d finally managed to shock her. Because me being a vampire hadn’t done it. A vampire. Come on.
    “Anton has determined that you’re not currently a safety risk.”
    “ I’m not a safety risk? What about you? With your blood vials and your weird bedside manner, not to mention your delusions.”
    Dr. Dobrescu stepped further into the room, gave me a speculative look, then came to some conclusion—because her attitude changed. She looked less businesslike. A little droopy, even. She sat down on the little rolling chair that all exam rooms seem to come equipped with and rolled closer to the table.
    She assumed a solemn expression. “I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re no longer human. A virus has invaded your body, resulting in certain…changes.”
    Virus—that was a word I could grab hold of. Chew on a little. A scary word—but not a crazy one. The rest… My brain did a little la-la-la to the rest of what she was saying. “So what’s the prognosis?”
    I skipped over the fact that I was asking for medical information from a woman who had clearly lost her marbles.
    “Unknown. The disease will most likely progress quite rapidly, but the end result is…uncertain. It’s my understanding that vampires require blood to complete the transformation.”
    “I’m sorry, did you say transformation?” I narrowed my eyes. “And what do you mean ‘uncertain’?” I looked around the room. I was in a doctor’s office and a doctor was telling me I might croak from a disease that didn’t exist. Couldn’t exist. Because when a doctor says the prognosis is uncertain—that has to include the big “D.” Dead. Then I remembered: crazy lady talking. I swallowed a groan. Transformation meant transformation into an undead vampire. “Are we talking about me ceasing to breathe, turning into a bat, and being afraid of garlic and crosses?”
    Now she was looking at me like I was the crazy one.
    I gritted my teeth and tried again. “When you say transformation, do you mean I will join the ranks of the undead?”
    Good grief. If ever there was a phrase I never would have thought would pass my lips, that one scored in the