Adventures in Funeral Crashing Read Online Free PDF Page A

had obviously also been rendered stupid. I
was in big trouble. Ethan had not waited to search me out at school
on Friday. He had found my place of employment and hunted me down.
Now, that was determination to get an answer out of me. It’s not
like I could leave work and run away and he knew it.
    “So, how did you know Liz?” Ethan asked
again.
    I still didn’t want to answer. “How did you
know where I worked?”
    “I looked you up on Facebook. It’s listed as
your job,” Ethan shrugged.
    Sometimes social networking sucked. I only
had like forty friends and most were kids I met at camp in third
grade or family. I needed to change my privacy settings. Just
because you were unpopular doesn’t mean some stalker wasn’t going
to track you down. Not that I’d mind if Ethan was stalking me
because it totally wouldn’t be stalking since I’d totally swoon if
he declared his love for me. Not that I had any delusions that it
was actually going to happen.
    Ethan continued, “So, Liz? How did you know
her?”
    Back to reality. I was starting to sweat.
There was no way out of this. Ethan had tracked me down at work
after all. Wait a minute – Ethan had tracked me down at work! Okay,
not the time to be happy. I was in trouble here. I was being forced
to admit I was a funeral crasher and although I don’t mind that
part of myself, I know my peer group doesn’t approve.
    “Well…” I hesitated. “It’s kind of a long
story.” Not really, I added in my head. I glanced back toward
Anne’s office. She was busy watching her movie. I could see the
glow of the television on her face through the small office window
that looked out onto the store.
    “I have time,” Ethan prodded.
    I was going to have to tell him. I didn’t
want to! I hedged, “Can I meet you in thirty minutes when I’m done
with work?”
    It gave me another half hour to figure out
the greatest lie ever told and if I ended up having to tell him the
truth, at least if I got him to sit down with me, maybe I could
explain so that he wouldn’t think I was such a total freak. And, I
didn’t want my boss to overhear. I know Anne liked me as an
employee, but still she didn’t need to know all of the intimate
details of my life. I mean, funeral crashing wasn’t like doing
drugs, but still. I didn’t want to take the chance that she’d be
appalled and fire me.
    “Sure,” Ethan nodded. “My car’s parked on the
street outside. I’ll wait for you to close up.”
    “Okay,” I gulped and tried not to think about
the fact that in thirty minutes I’d be sitting in a parked car with
Ethan.
    “Cool,” Ethan said, nodding again, turning
around, and walking out of the store.
    I had thirty minutes to come up with
something. Forget reading. I put my book back into my satchel
purse. I stared out into the empty video store. What could I
possibly say to Ethan to make this all turn out okay?
    Thirty minutes later and locking up the video
store, I hadn’t come up with anything other than entering the
witness protection program and fleeing the state. Somehow, I didn’t
think they’d take me into witness protection for trying to run away
from a cute guy, who’s about to find out that I like to crash
funerals. Maybe I’d get lucky and aliens would abduct me.
    “So, I was watching a John Hughes movie
tonight - Some Kind of Wonderful . I think you’d like it.
It’s with Eric Stoltz and Mary Stuart Masterson and is a classic
teen movie about unrequited love and high school. You should take
it out next shift,” Anne was saying, as I locked the front
door.
    “Uh-huh,” I managed to mumble, even though
Anne’s recommendations were always the best.
    “Are you okay?” Anne asked, peering at me.
“You seem kind of distracted. School alright?”
    “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said and then continued,
seeing that she might press me. “Just thinking about a guy.”
    “Ohhh, okay,” Anne smiled knowingly.
    I attempted a smile back, but luckily it was
dark,