Abuse: The Complete Trilogy Read Online Free PDF

mindlessly fleeing until I drop from exhaustion.
    My entire body
trembles. I can’t stand the thought of anyone knowing who and what I am.
    Not to mention
what I’ve done.
    A shiver runs
through me. I don’t think I can take it.
    André reaches out
and his firm hand grasps my arm, grounding me from that moment of near
hysteria. Shutting my eyes for a moment, I absorb his touch, holding on to the
heat and calming energy of him.
    He feels like a
lifeline.
    “Take heart, my
friend,” he says quietly, in his soothing velvet voice. “Do not despair. You
simply move one step and then another. You keep going. Before you know it,” he
snaps his fingers. “ Voila . You have arrived. It took more than one day
to arrive at this dark place, no? It will take more than one day to escape from
here.”
    The elevator
arrives. Guiding me, supporting me, he wraps an arm around my shoulder. Two
men, one normal and one crazy, we walk into it together like the best of bosom
buddies.
    “Be strong, mon
ami . I can help you and I will.”
    He puts his hand
on his heart dramatically, like pledging allegiance, but it doesn’t seem
foolish. It looks as if he’s making me a promise.
    “Together we will
triumph,” he says. “I swear this is so. Grant, you have faced countless enemies
in your life. Oui, oui, many dangers and difficult circumstances I do
not doubt. And yet, here you are. You have overcome them all.”
    “I’ve tried…” I
start to say, but my voice cracks. My eyes start to burn. I haven’t cried much
throughout my life, even as a child. I was taught only pussies do that—but
right now, I feel like crying.
    Ah, Christ.
    Can I get any
lower?
    At twenty-nine
years old, I’m a pathetic, maudlin and often bitter alcoholic; that’s what I’ve
become. Now, I have to add cowardice to that list.
    “With help, you
will succeed,” he assures me, patting my back consolingly. He meets my eyes
then and frowns gravely. “But it is of the greatest importance that you begin
in alcohol rehabilitation immediately,” he says with a serious air.
    Is it?
    André’s been
carefree over everything I’ve talked about tonight. Nothing’s fazed him. Now
his voice is so solemn. I frown while my muddled mind wonders just what else I
have to worry about.
    “Why?” I ask.
    “Oh,” André says
blithely. “It is a selfishness, I fear. To me, you are a most interesting case.
I have no wish to wait. Go through rehabilitation quickly and come to me, for I
very much look forward to working with you.”
    It takes more
than a moment for me to get that oddball joke.
    I finally notice
the mischievous sparkle in his dark eyes. André grins the second he sees that I get it. At that exact instant, we both burst out laughing.
    Is this French
humor?
    André’s so off
the wall. I laugh and laugh until my gut hurts. We point at each other and he
laughs too. It’s not really not that funny… but it is.
    If I didn’t
laugh, I’d cry.
    I’m pretty sure
André knows that.
    It’s why he made
me laugh.
    André’s not some dumbass
playing mind games and thinking he knows what he’s doing. He really does know what he’s doing.
    I trust this
crazy, unconventional Frenchman. It’s then I realize that with his help, I can
get through this. I won’t lose my mind. Despite all this madness, I’m not going
insane.
    With his help,
maybe I can pull myself out of this mess.

Chapter 5.
    “Secrets,
silent, stony sit in the dark palaces of our hearts. Secrets weary of their
tyranny: tyrants willing to be dethroned.”
    — James Joyce
    ~~~
    The Captain of
the Airbus, announcing our imminent arrival in Las Vegas, pulls me out of my
memories. Rehab and Alcoholics Anonymous, along with ongoing counseling, has
worked. I’ve been stone cold sober for over three months. I know my weakness.
I’ll never drink a drop of alcohol again.
    My plane lands
and the pretty, blonde stewardess meets my eyes.
    “Thank you, for
everything,” she says, and her lips curve up in a