Abuse: The Complete Trilogy Read Online Free PDF Page B

smile, as she nods her good
bye. I’m shocked when she extends her hand.
    I take it. It’s
small, soft and dry. My palm heats with electric pleasure from the kindness of
a woman’s touch. There’s an emptiness inside, I can’t escape—yet with her
willing handshake, for that one moment, my whole world brightens.
    Wow. I
want to grin, but I only give her a half smile back—one that doesn’t pull on my
scars and make me look even more frightening.
    I’m surprised by
an intense bubble of joy that floods through me. A moment of true connection
with another human being.
    So rare. So
vital.
    I sigh with
satisfaction as I depart the aircraft. Warm feelings of happiness stay with me
during the entire taxi ride to my hotel.
    I check in
without incident. The reception staff are professional and accommodating, their
faces composed. The usual shock, horror and pity registers in their eyes, but
at least they’re able to meet my gaze.
    I long for just
one person to treat me like a regular guy.
    I’m beginning to
think this is an unreasonable expectation.
    At least when I’m
with my counselor, I’m able to forget about my scars. They don’t bother him in
the least.
    ~~~
    The next day,
André Chevalier picks me up from my hotel in his cherry-red Ferrari 275 GTB.
It’s a classic, built in 1966. What a sweet ride.
    He offers to let
me drive, but I’m not up to handling a high-performance car. My nerves are
shot. Just now, I can't take that kind of responsibility—if I did, I think my
head might explode.
    André phoned me
last night and told me to take a sleeping pill and to eat a hearty breakfast.
    I can read
between the lines. My counselor’s admonishment to, “Eat and sleep very well,”
can be translated to “We’re going to have a difficult session tomorrow, so
prepare yourself.”
    We drive around a
scenic area of Red Rock Canyon National Park and Lake Mead. In my opinion, spring
is the best time of the year to visit Vegas. In April, you can expect warm days
and mild, clear nights.
    Today’s an
exception. The morning news stated it would be uncommonly hot today, possibly
reaching 90 degrees.
    The cloudless
blue sky is a pretty contrast to the red and brown cliffs. I’m sweating but the
car windows are open, so the rush of air dries any moisture from my button-down
cotton shirt and khaki shorts. With good roads and fantastic scenery, the drive
alone is worth the price of admission. Except for unseasonal heat, the
weather’s perfect.
    André’s trying to
chill me out before our session.
    It isn’t going to
work.
    We stop to hike
off the beaten path in the Rainbow Mountain Wilderness. It’s marked as an easy
walk. We get out of the car, and André slips on the backpack. Too distracted to
offer to carry it, I let him.
    I don’t know if
they have boy scouts in France, but if they do, André was one. I’m sure
everything from water to first aid kits and probably even a satellite phone is
tucked away in there.
    It’s a dry heat,
but I feel a cooling sheen of sweat on my skin as we begin our stroll in
companionable silence. Juniper and pine trees are dotted along the well-used
path. It’s a trail which can be done in a loop so we get to see different scenery
all the way.
    Eventually, we
stop to drink water. We sit in the shade on a log where there’s a nice view of
Lovell Canyon. The desert has a dry beauty, with towering red sandstone cliffs.
Surrounded by cactus trees, sage bush and the occasional chattering squirrel,
we could be the only people in the world.
    It’s certainly
private.
    A good place to
share secrets, I fear.
    André has the car
keys. I suspect he’s not driving me out of here until I spit out the bones of
some skeletons. I force myself to appear composed on the outside.
    Inside I’m
squirming.
    “My friend,” he
says, slanting me a look. “You have come to visit me on many, oh-so many
occasions. We have discussed much, oui?”
    “Sure”
    “And so, do you
not think it is time that you speak