Above the Noise Read Online Free PDF Page A

had to have chemo as part of the aggressive measures to rid me of what lurked inside my body. The doctor said I would most likely never conceive because the kind of chemo I had pretty much leaves you sterile. So, I’ve grown up with the mindset that kids aren’t part of my future, which is just fine. I look forward to all the shit I can do that all my preggo friends won’t be able to. They’ll be jealous.”
    “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?”
    “I like to think I do.” My eyes fluttered. I was so tired, and it seemed the more personal and intimate our conversations got, the more exhausted I felt.
    “Well, be careful what you’re absolutely sure of. Because life has a way of throwing you into situations you never dreamed of.” He kissed me on my nose and climbed out from under my blankets. “I should go. Lock the door behind me, okay?” He winked and then was gone, and all I could think about was what it would feel like to make love to his tender soul. I was falling. It was way too soon to let down my walls. Shit fuck.

 
     
    WATCHING HER SLEEP, I could barely breathe. It was weird. I let my guard down that first night I walked her home, and it was like Becki completely took up residence inside me. Everything about her left me splayed open. I would be remiss to think I could’ve ignored it. There was no hiding what I felt for her.
    After Chloe died, my heart became guarded and didn’t let anyone in. Sure, I entertained groupies, but, unlike a lot of musicians, my entertaining was done with my clothes on . Recently it started to feel like my heart had a mind of its own and all this time had been revving up just waiting for me to let go, so it could throw itself at someone. Well, my heart apparently has good taste because it would be hard to find someone more perfectly attuned to my soul than Becki. It was unbelievable. Quite simply, I was overwhelmed by how hard I slammed into what felt like love. The feeling was so strong it hurt sometimes, and there was no turning it off. I just wondered if she felt anything near what I did. It was way more than just sexual attraction for me.
    Becki and I had gotten accustomed to staying up and talking all night long when I walked her home. It really was inconvenient that we had been surrounded by Bones, Manny, and Spider since we left Knoxville. Her dorm was artsy and cozy. It was rare for me to be so at ease with someone so quickly. Traveling across the country with the whole band wasn’t conducive to those late night talks.
    I always left her dorm before I fell asleep, except for the night she passed out, and at that moment we were sharing a bed for the first time. I was afraid if I closed my eyes, she’d disappear. The guys were completely passed out. Bones and Spider in the other bed, and Manny on the pull out couch. It took every ounce of willpower I had to let Becki sleep.
    “Stalker.” She peeked up at me through one squinted eye then rubbed it with the heel of her hand. “What time is it, Calon? Why aren’t you sleeping?” A sleepy smile spread across her face.
    “Because you’re here.” I brushed some hair from the side of her neck.
    “You can’t sleep with someone else in your bed?” She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled into me with a deep breath.
    “Apparently, not tonight.” I draped my arm over her and pulled her into me. “I’m having trouble taking my eyes off you.” And my mind couldn’t get over the predicament the guys found us in just a couple hours earlier. I was so unbelievably attracted to her and feeling her body react to mine, hearing her soft grunt when she felt how hard I was, would replay in my mind for days. That is, unless we outdid that scenario, then an even hotter memory would replace it.
    “Well, no sense in you staying awake alone.” She reached under her pillow and pulled out her ear buds, which I assumed were attached to her phone. She fumbled blindly with her hands then gently pressed one of