AAAARGH!!! Read Online Free PDF Page B

my cheating?”
    “Exactly.”
    “And it gets worse,” Tuna said. He shut and reopened the blade.

    Suddenly all three were standing in a wedding chapel watching TJ get married. She was dressed in a beautiful white gown and veil.
    “Wow,” TJ whispered to the guys, “I look great.”
    Herby nodded. “Majorly smoot!”
    But Tuna was looking at his knife, scowling. “That’s not right. This isn’t your—”
    TJ didn’t bother to listen. She quickly circled around to get a look at her future husband. The first thing she noticed was his height. He was about as tall as Herby. The second thing she noticed was his hair. It was as long and blond as Herby’s. The third thing she noticed was

    it was Herby!
    She spun around to the two boys and shouted, “What am I doing marrying Herby?!”
    Tuna looked up from his knife and glared at his partner. “Herby?”
    “HERBY?!” she shrieked.
    “Sorry.” He shrugged. “I was just falooping around and programmed it into the knife for fun.”
    TJ let out a huge sigh of relief. “So this really isn’t my future?”
    Tuna shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
    Herby added, “But if you wanted it to be—”
    “Sorry, Herby,” she interrupted. “No sale.”
    Once again, Herby seemed to deflate. “Sure, I get it. That’s how you feel . . . at least for now.”
    “At least forever,” she said.
    Tuna reopened the blade and

    the three of them stood in a rich, expensive office watching a middle-aged TJ madly typing something from a book.
    “What’s this?” TJ asked as they approached her older image at the desk.
    Tuna explained, “Your high grades in college brought you lots of money to write books. But because you were never any good, you had to steal from other authors.”
    “You mean I was cheating again?” TJ said.
    Herby nodded. “You had to.”
    TJ scowled, then looked around at the fancy office. “But . . . I was successful, right?”
    “That depends on how you define success.” Tuna shut the knife, reopened it, and

    they were back to the room of starving and screaming babies.
    Tuna continued his explanation. “Because you became an author, someone other than you became president.”
    Slowly TJ put the pieces together. “So I wasn’t there to stop world hunger.”
    “Precisely.”
    “And all of this will happen just because I cheated one time?” she asked.
    Tuna answered, “Every action builds upon every other action.”
    Herby added, “Little wrongs create major quod-quods.”
    “But—” TJ turned to the boys, frowning—“it was your idea. You were the ones who told me to cheat.”
    Tuna looked to the ground. “And we were wrong.”
    “Majorly wrong,” Herby agreed.
    “More than majorly wrong; outloopishly wrong.”
    “Majorly, outloopishly—”
    “Majorly, majorly , outloopishly—”
    “All right, I get it.” TJ raised her hand. “You were wrong.”
    The boys nodded. “Right!”
    TJ sighed and looked around the room. “So there’s nothing I can do to change this?”
    Tuna and Herby traded glances.
    As the babies continued to cry, TJ felt herself growing sick to her stomach. This really was her fault. “There’s nothing I can do to fix this?” she repeated hoarsely.
    Finally Herby answered. “Yes, there is.”
    She looked at him, waiting for more.
    Tuna explained, “You must tell Miss Grumpaton that you cheated.”
    If she felt sick before, she felt like calling an ambulance now. Tell Miss Grumpaton what she’d done? Forget the ambulance—call the local undertaker.
    Suddenly her cell phone rang. She pulled it from her pocket and answered, “Hello?”
    “TJ?” It was little Dorie. “Where are you?”
    “I’m at home. Where are you?” TJ asked.
    “At school. You were supposed to pick me up, remember?”
    TJ frowned.
    “We were going to the beach? You were taking me swimming.”
    “Oh, right. Sorry.” She glanced at her watch, surprised at how much time had passed. “Hang on, Squid. I’ll be right there.” She