AAAARGH!!! Read Online Free PDF

important that you had to drag me away from my friends?” she demanded.
    “Friends?” Tuna snorted. “You want them as friends?”
    “Well, no, not really. But I don’t want them as enemies, either.”
    “Your Dude-ness, that wannabe human was majorly zworking you!”
    “Her name is Hesper Breakahart . . . and she just happens to be the most popular teenager in all of America!”
    “Who will be completely forgotten in 10 years,” Tuna said. “She’s not even in the history holographs.”
    Herby nodded. “Whereas you, Your Dude-ness, are gonna be remembered forever for all the cool things you’ll do.”
    “But what about now?” she argued.
    “Now you are laying the foundation for what you’ll become,” Tuna explained. “Someone great who will end world hunger, eliminate diseases—”
    “—and bring back the hula hoop!” Herby added brightly. Then, just as quickly, he deflated and said, “At least you were.”
    TJ turned to him. “What do you mean?”
    Without a word, Tuna opened another blade of the Swiss Army Knife, and

    the entire room was filled with babies. There were hundreds of them crying and screaming.
    “What’s going on?” TJ shouted over the noise.
    “It’s a hologram,” Tuna shouted back.
    “Of what?”
    “A Starving Room.”
    “A what?”
    “In the future, it’s where they’ll put all the babies who are starving to death.”
    TJ looked around the room in astonishment. It was true. All the children there were starving. Some were so skinny, they looked like skeletons with skin stretched over their bones. It was hard to tell which was worse—the way they looked or the way they kept screaming and whimpering.
    “But you said I was going to change all that!” TJ shouted.
    “You were,” Tuna agreed, “until you . . .”
    “Until I what?”
    “Until you cheated with that book report.”
    “What?!” TJ motioned around the room. “How could a little cheating do all this?”
    “You changed your future,” Tuna said.
    “How?”
    He reopened the blade and

    the three of them were standing at the back of an auditorium full of clapping people. Onstage, an 18-year-old version of TJ, dressed in a plastic garbage bag, was receiving a certificate.
    “What’s this about?” TJ asked.
    Tuna leaned toward her and explained, “Miss Grumpaton was so impressed by your report that she helped you acquire a writing scholarship to a top college.”
    TJ frowned. “But isn’t that a good thing?”
    “Yes and no. The good news is that garbage bags will be totally out of fashion in two years.”
    “And the bad news?” TJ asked.
    “Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!”
    All three ducked as the parrot suddenly appeared and flew just above their heads, then circled the audience.
    “You still don’t have that story thingy fixed?” TJ complained.
    Herby shrugged. “We’re waiting for parts.”
    Tuna pulled out the Story Amplifier Blade and tried to

    remove the bird. But nothing happened. He turned to TJ and shrugged. “Well, at least it’s not that awful—”

    “PTERODACTYL!” all three cried in unison.
    After another

    and a few

    the pterodactyl finally

    disappeared and everything was back to normal. Well, except for the dinosaur drool on the heads of several members of the audience.
    “And the bad news?” TJ repeated. “You said there was some bad news?”
    “Right. Hang on.” Tuna opened up the first blade again and

    all three were transported to a college library. Not far from them, a college-age version of TJ stood talking to another student. After glancing nervously over her shoulder, she slipped the student a wad of cash.
    “What am I doing?” TJ whispered to the guys.
    “You’re buying a report from someone who wrote it for you,” Tuna said.
    “I’m what ?”
    Herby explained, “Everyone went so gam-gam for your writing that you had to keep cheating in college, too.”
    A sinking feeling filled TJ’s stomach. “You mean I had to keep cheating to cover up