A Season for Hope (Sarra Cannon) Read Online Free PDF Page A

in town. I’m no one without him.
    But no one looks. No one even notices me.
    Monica is easy and free on the dance floor. I watch her, wanting to be more like her. She’s not tied down by anything. She’s just free to be herself and she’s never really cared what anyone thinks of her.
    Why can’t I be like that?
    She opens her eyes and sees me staring at her. She shakes her head and smiles. She grabs my hands and begins to dance with me. I laugh because she’s making a fool of herself and she doesn’t even care.
    She pulls me toward her and shouts in my ear, “Just let it go, Bailey. Just for one night.”
    Tears well up in my eyes. She makes it sound so easy. As if healing my heart is only a matter of deciding not to hurt. As if it’s just that simple.
    And what if it is?
    I breath in and out and let the music fill me up. I think about all the weeks of sadness and wonder what it would feel like to let it all go. To choose happiness instead. To be free from the burden of it all.
    My body loosens and my movements become more fluid and organic.
    I give in to the moment, concentrating on the thumping bass and the sweat rolling down my spine.
    I close my eyes and forget that anyone else is here. No one is watching me or judging me. No one is telling me I’m not good enough. I don’t have anyone or anything to answer to right now but myself. With every movement, a piece of my shell breaks loose and flakes away.
    A tear slides down my cheek, but this time, it’s different. I’m not crying from sadness or heartbreak. These tears are coming from a place deep inside that has been clinging to this belief that I’m not worthy of love or friendship. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Or maybe it’s from seeing Preston flirting with someone new. I don’t know. But for some reason, I feel a new me stirring just under the surface of my skin.
    My tears begin to fall harder and faster.
    The more I break free, the more I begin to sob. I can’t breathe.
    I turn and run, pushing my way through the crowd. I think I hear Monica shout my name, but I don’t look back.
    I run straight toward the back door and bolt out into the alleyway behind the club.
    As soon as the door closes behind me, I double over, clutching my stomach. I lean back against the brick wall, sobs shaking my body.
    I let all those things I haven’t wanted to admit to myself pour through me. I let them come to the surface and I face them, finally understanding that my worst fears have all come true. The whole time I was with Preston, I felt like such a fraud. I never felt that I belonged in that group of friends with their expensive clothes and their privileged lives. I always felt lesser and everything I did—every choice I made along the way—was about pleasing them or trying to be one of them.
    But now I know the truth.
    I never really did belong. If those people had been my real friends, they would have rallied around me when Preston broke things off. Instead, I haven’t heard a single word from Summer or Krystal in weeks. Without Preston, I’m nothing to them.
    And deep down, I always knew it was true.
    I wipe the waterfall of tears from my cheeks and chest, breathing deeply as my sobs begin to calm. I’m sure by now all of the makeup I put on earlier is completely gone. My eyes feel puffy and raw. But I feel different. Purged.
    A tingle spreads through my body, as if something has shifted for me. As if the universe is trying to tell me something big is right around the corner.
    Just then, the back door swings open and someone steps out, a cell phone clutched in his hand.
    I glance up and my breath catches in my throat. It's the sexy med-student with the hazel eyes.
    Chapter Seven
     
    I stand there like a deer caught in headlights.
    He lifts his cell phone to his ear, then turns and sees me. His lips part and for a brief moment, we’re two statues. Then, slowly, his lips curl into a smile that makes my heart skip a beat.
    Judd’s hand falls to his side, his