A Most Desirable Marriage Read Online Free PDF Page A

chair. Looking over the garden, it was hot with the afternoon sun. Normally she would be working in there every day, but she hadn’t been into her study or checked her emails since the night of the party; she’d been existing in a numb cocoon. Now she found nearly forty messages from her friends, colleagues, her agent, all relating to that other time, her normal life, before Lawrence’s baffling announcement. How would she tell them? The Meadows had an enviable marriage, everyone knew that. Would they laugh now, enjoy the fall from grace? She was ashamed to think they might, but had she and Lawrence been a bit smug? Donna’s twenty-odd years with Walter had ended in separation four years ago – the only argument between them by then being who should keep Max – as had many of her other friends’ long relationships. But the Meadows had seemed immune to the threat of boredom and sexual infidelity, even surviving their children’s departure from home without a glitch.
    She decided she wouldn’t answer any but the most pressing email. The news would filter out anyway, it always did. And until then she could pretend.

Chapter 3
    30 July 2013
    ‘I’m worried about you.’ Donna had her concerned frown on, one she wore a lot these days with Jo.
    ‘Yeah, so you keep saying. I’m just not sure what you expect me to do that would stop you worrying.’
    Donna lay on the grass outside the hut, her head on an ancient patchwork cushion, steadying a glass of red wine with her right hand. Jo sat on a folded tartan rug, leaning against the wooden wall of the hut. It was late, after nine and still not quite dark, warm enough for them not to move inside.
    Donna pulled herself up, crossed her legs in the navy crumpled-linen trousers, making Max – snuggled next to her – stir in his sleep and open one eye. ‘Not sure either. But you seem so calm. As if Lawrence has just gone on an extended trip to China or somewhere, not actually left you . . . perhaps for ever.’ Donna held up her hand as Jo was about to protest. ‘I’m saying it how it is – or at least how it might be – darling, because you don’t seem to get it. Sorry to sound cruel, but you do understand that Lawrence . . . well he might not come back.’
    Jo didn’t answer, just rubbed her eyes, as if she was having trouble seeing clearly in the half light.
    ‘You’ve got to face it one day. Otherwise you’ll just stay in this limbo for God knows how long . . . waiting.’
    ‘And this facing it? How exactly does that work? Sounds like you won’t be satisfied until I’ve had a nervous breakdown and been carted off to the bin.’
    ‘Don’t get upset. Of course I don’t want you to have a breakdown. It’s just your life seems to be going along as usual. I can’t see that anything’s changed.’
    Which was true. It was six weeks since he’d left, and the time had plodded past in a determined effort on Jo’s part to Keep Occupied. She’d got into a rhythm each day: reading, gardening, walking and the gym, even making bread – which she hadn’t done for years, though the loaf turned out leaden and sour – dropping in for coffee or wine with Donna. Her husband called every few days but she didn’t answer the phone, and she hadn’t told a single person about the separation. Lawrence had occasionally taught a Human Rights course at Columbia University’s summer school. He would be away in New York for nearly three weeks in August. Now felt like then to her, Donna was right.
    ‘You should get back on the horse,’ her friend was saying, ‘before it’s too late. It’ll help you move past Lawrence.’
    Jo stared at her in amazement. ‘You mean . . . men?’
    Donna giggled. ‘Well, women if you like . . . on the principle that if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.’
    ‘You are joking.’
    ‘Of course I am . . . sort of.’ Donna leaned forward earnestly, her hands cradling her wine glass. ‘OK, I’m going to be blunt—’
    ‘That’d be a