A Minor Indiscretion Read Online Free PDF Page A

pushchair. She’d got fat.” Neil smiled and helped himself to Ed’s crisps. “But at least she’d moved on. Here I am, three years later, same job, same flat, same life.”
    â€œHow is the glamorous, drug-fueled world of school photography?”
    â€œSame as ever. I spent the day trying to herd tribes of unruly five-year-olds into some semblance of order. How would you like to spend your entire waking moments saying ‘Smelly Sausages’ in order to get some toothless, hyperactive urchin to grin?”
    â€œI spent my day trying to get a blonde in a bikini to drill a hole with a broken drill. Tomorrow, I will no doubt spend an equally futile day trying to get her to saw with a broken saw. Don’t ever buy any Performing Power Tools, by the way.”
    â€œAt least you get to look at a bird in a bikini. What do I get? Horrible little tykes who could learn some sartorial elegance from Just William. ” Neil leaned back. “Oh, when is Vogue finally going to get on the phone and insist that I fly to Ecuador at amoment’s notice to photograph Elle or Helena or Liz for the front cover?”
    â€œMaybe when you get off your lazy backside and compile a decent portfolio.”
    â€œI shall treat that with the contempt it deserves. Still, the wedding season will soon be upon us,” Neil said, cheering up. “The brides may be lost causes, but I’ve pulled some very nice bridesmaids with my sparkling repartee.”
    â€œBe grateful that life is so simple, my brother.”
    Neil paused over his pint. “Not trouble at home?”
    â€œNo. No. Not at home. Everything’s fine. Well, nothing that winning the lottery and giving three children to a passing circus couldn’t fix.”
    â€œWork?”
    â€œSame as ever. You’re not the only one who hankers after bigger and better things.”
    â€œOh, not the Harrison Ford stories, bro.”
    â€œI haven’t told them for ages.”
    â€œChristmas. One glass of port too many.”
    â€œThat was months ago!”
    â€œIf I wasn’t so certain of our mother’s cast-iron morals, I’d swear he was our third long-lost brother.”
    â€œThree weeks ago, I spent ten days filming a man dressed as a tin of tuna flakes. That was a major contract for Wavelength. Don’t you think I miss the good times?”
    â€œEverything’s relative, Ed. How do you think the man inside the tin of tuna felt?” Neil nodded sagely.
    â€œTrue.”
    â€œHindsight always gives things a rosy glow, mate. You know that.”
    Ed sighed. “Sometimes it’s very easy to forget it. And sometimes I just wonder where I might be now, if I’d stayed the distance.”
    â€œProbably filming The Mummy Returns in a sandpit in the Home Counties purporting to be the far-flung desert sands of Egypt.”
    â€œProbably.”
    â€œIt wasn’t all sun, sand, sea and sex. You said so yourself. Did you ever spend the night in Sharon Stone’s trailer?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWhat was the point in it all then? A few beers with Harrison Ford doesn’t amount to much. It can’t have been the great job you make it out to be.”
    â€œMaybe you’re right.”
    â€œThere must be something that’s brought on this little black cloud. Have you still got the brisk and terrifyingly efficient Orla with you? Perhaps she’s getting you down.”
    â€œOrla’s all right. She’s just doing a job.”
    â€œI’ll give it another month. She’ll be turning you inside out by then, psychoanalyzing you, questioning every decision you’ve ever made.”
    â€œIf it wasn’t her, it would be someone else. And they might be short, fat and bald and have body odor. At least while Orla’s picking my life over, she’s pretty stunning to look at.”
    â€œIs she?” Neil perked up. “I thought you only had eyes for