A Match Made in High School Read Online Free PDF Page A

“These random matches are a disaster.”
    “Why?” Dad asked. “What happened; did you get a dud?”
    I slowly spun my knife on the table. “Not a dud. The opposite. Extremely popular and a total jerk. There isn’t one thing about this guy I find at all appealing.”

CHAPTER 4
29
    “Hey now. Come on. Don’t be mean. Popular guys have feelings too,” he teased.
    “Not this one. Unless you count feeling up his girlfriend in the hallway before class.”
    “Feeling up a girl always counts,” he said.
    Mom swacked him with her cloth napkin, “Ethan—”
    “It’s true. I’ve counted every single time.” And I swear to God, he reached over and honked her boob right in front of me. “Six thousand, two hundred, eight.”
    I leaned back from my parents as far as possible. “ Ethan ,”
    I cried, “this is the dinner table .”
    Dad toggled his head at me. “Pardon me, Your Ladyship.”
    My mother struggled to compose herself. “Fiona, Principal Miller really said you can’t graduate if you don’t take this course? And the school board okayed it?”
    “That’s what she said.”
    “I find that objectionable,” Mom said.
    “For once, we agree,” I said. I flicked grains of jasmine rice around my plate with my fork. I lined them up into a little T for Todd , and then smooshed it with the back of the fork tines.
    “Well, I’m not standing for it,” Mom said. “I’m calling Principal Miller tomorrow. Then the school board. Maybe I’ll even write a letter to the paper.” She drained her wineglass.
    “Ridiculous.”
    “Uh-oh,” Dad said. “Hide your daughters. Viv is on the warpath.”
    Mom swacked him with her napkin again.
    30 Kristin Walker
    “Yeah, that’s all well and good, Mom, but it’s not going to change anything. Meanwhile, I still have to deal with this jerk.”
    Mom picked up her plate and took it to the sink. “Fiona, I think this course is absurd. But for the time being, you’re going to have to play along. Just try to find one thing about this boy that you like, or respect, or can at least stand. Just one thing. That’s all you need. Focus on that one redeemable quality, that one thing you like, and you’ll be surprised how long you can stand him for.”
    “Is that how you and Dad stay together?”
    “What can I say? He makes a mean chocolate milk shake.”
    “And she can really sing,” Dad said.
    “I’m a terrible singer,” said Mom.
    “You are? Well, in that case, I guess we’re through.” He shrugged. “Hmmm . . . I wonder who I was thinking of who can sing.”
    “Your mother is a good singer. Perhaps you should go live with her.”
    Dad said, “At least she lets me feel her up.”
    I stood up. “That’s it; I’m done. And I’m not even going to ask to be excused, because you two are sick and depraved and no longer hold any authority over me. I’ll be in my room.”
    I set my plate in the sink and left them giggling behind me. Upstairs, I sprawled out on my bed and pulled out the marriage ed packet. I grabbed the journal and a pen. Figured I might as well record this horrific day.

CHAPTER 4
31
    Wednesday, September 4
    I thought today would be the first day of a fantastic senior year. Instead, it sucked. Now I have to spend the whole year ShACkLEd to a person (who shall remain nameless, but his initials are Todd hARdING) whom I despise. I have been advised to try to find one redeeming quality in him to focus on. So far, the only thing I can think of is that he is breathing. But even that is questionable, because he is very likely a zombie or some other form of the undead. I would seriously rather spend my entire life as a virgin spinster than spend it with Todd harding. I’d be perfectly happy living as the crazy cat lady. I have an uncle (Tommy) who is total y the male version of the crazy cat lady, and he’s happy enough. Actual y, come to think of it, he’s real y not. Like this one time about three years ago, we went up for my Nana’s seventy-fifth