A Game of Battleships Read Online Free PDF Page A

Colonial Service Overseas  Chess Team and Social Club.
    ‘Glad you could join us, W,’ Benson said. He was small, spectacled and sad-looking, with a deep,  rich voice that seemed to come out of someone larger than himself.
    ‘A pleasure,’ W replied. He took a sip of his bitter and lowered himself awkwardly into a seat.
    ‘A potential problem has arisen,’ Khan declared, stroking the waxed tips of his moustache. ‘We  need your department’s help.’
    W nodded. A list of the galaxy’s most villainous riff-raff appeared in his mind: ruthless Ghast  legions, zealots from the Democratic Republic of New Eden, crazed, sadistic lemming men of Yull.
    ‘Gladly. I’m always happy to introduce the turkey of oppression to the raw onion of British justice,’ he said, making an explanatory gesture.
    Khan nodded to Roth. ‘I told you he was keen.’
    Benson leaned across to him. ‘My colleague’s department,’ he said, gesturing towards W, ‘were it  to actually exist, would have carried out some excellent work over the past few months. Remember the  Edenite Minister of Propaganda? Had the manpower existed in any official way, it’s my colleague here  you’d have to thank for taking him off the air.’
    Roth raised one thick white eyebrow. ‘That was your work?’
    ‘The concept of objective truth is the cornerstone of human liberty,’ W said, crossing his legs.
    ‘Only by protecting truth can we hope to retain the gentleness and decency of British life.’
    ‘So what happened to him?’
    ‘We hanged the bastard.’ W shrugged. ‘He received a fair and balanced trial, followed by a fair  and somewhat less balanced execution. So what do you need done?’
    ‘Very soon, we finalise the treaty with the Vorl,’ Benson replied. He removed his glasses and  started polishing them on his tie. ‘Practically every allied nation will be there to witness it and pledge support, including the Vorl themselves. Also in attendance will be the mystics of Khlangar. By  themselves, the Khlangari are pretty negligible. They do, however, have strong links to the Voidani space whales, who appear to protect them for reasons unknown. We want them on-side. An alliance like that  would be almost unbeatable.’
    ‘I see. And where is it taking place?’
    ‘On a metrological station and recycling plant orbiting the gaseous planet Signus Four, which is  to be renamed Wellington Prime for the event.’
    ‘What’s it called now?’
    ‘Gas and Rubbish Central. Perhaps not ideal for an international treaty. The place is fortified –  originally to keep the rubbish in, rather than the rubbish out, but don’t tell the delegates that – but an event like this can’t stay secret forever.’
    ‘I see.’
    ‘We’ll need additional security,’ Benson explained. ‘It’s not enough for us to sit back and wait for  Gertie to attack. We need good fellows out there on the alert, actively seeking out threats.’
    W said, ‘Smith sounds like the man for the job. He’s got a nose for trouble. And a moustache for  danger.’
    Hereward Khan leaned forward, making his plastic chair creak alarmingly. He was a massive man,  as tough and blubbery as an elephant seal. ‘No can do,’ he replied. ‘Smith is on convoy work. We thought he deserved a rest.’
    ‘Have you considered asking the other secret services?’
    The appalled spluttering that followed suggested that they had indeed considered the other  services. ‘Those oiks?’ Khan demanded.
    Benson’s glasses had misted up. ‘Oh dear no,’ he said. ‘No, no. They’d only steal the sandwiches.’
    ‘And the furniture.’
    Roth leaned close. ‘You know what I heard about the other services?’ he whispered. ‘Some of  them aren’t even Oxbridge. To think of it, an entire secret service gone. . redbrick .’ He shuddered violently.
    ‘Gentlemen, please.’ W’s eyes narrowed. The tiny rollup in the corner of his mouth rose like an  accusing finger. ‘What matters