A Fine Passage Read Online Free PDF Page A

that?”
    â€œI’m only saying that if we were to lose one another, in the subway or some such place, instead of searching and not knowing where we were, we ought to just get on with our day alone. Each of us on our own. And I could buy you a small present, and you might do the same for me.”
    Terry really can’t see the use of pretending to get lost.
    â€œWell, the way you’re talking, sounds like you want us to plan to go and lose each other. We may as well decide to spend the day each on our own, if that’s what you want.”
    Carmen had not thought of it quite that way.
    â€œSeems to me, it’d be more exciting if we were to lose each other. Not on purpose. That way, we wouldn’t be expecting it. It’d be more of a muddle that way.”
    Terry doesn’t immediately reply, but the idea has already begun to spin wheels within. Finally, he proposes a kind of compromise.
    â€œI don’t want to lose you. But if it happens, we’ll do like you say.”
    Carmen turns in the bed, kisses him.
    â€œI love you.”
    â€œSo do I, love you. What do you think? But don’t go forgetting you’re preggers. That thing’s half me, you know.”
    The restaurant had become quiet. The waitress even had time to come over and ask them if everything was fine. Everything was fine.
    â€œHe caught my attention when he spoke about boundless joy. I’d never heard that expression before. Interesting concept, don’t you think?”
    Claudia enjoyed listening to him talk, but his questions were often perplexing.
    â€œI don’t know. Is it religious?”
    The man shrugged. “It could be, but it wouldn’t have to be, I suppose.”
    â€œI don’t practise any religion.”
    â€œNeither do I. But from time to time, I walk into a church. Or a temple. Or a mosque. To rest when I’ve been walking a lot.”
    Claudia felt she could fall in love with a man like this. In fact, she wondered if she had not already fallen.
    â€œDo you have any children?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œYou didn’t want any?”
    â€œNot particularly. I wasn’t against it, but it never happened. Now I don’t know.”
    The man continues unnecessarily to stir his coffee.
    â€œPeople have begun to say my paintings are my offspring.”
    He removes the spoon from his cup and places it in the saucer, shrugs.
    â€œIt’s useless to fight against that sort of idea. And you? Do you want children?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œYou have a friend? A boyfriend, I mean.”
    â€œNo.”
    Another silence followed, and once again, Claudia was able to break it. The ease with which she was able to break this man’s silences amazed her.
    â€œI did notice you on the plane. From the side. You showed no sign of reading.”
    My wife. Yes, even from this hell in which I find myself, I dare to continue calling you that, even though you feel betrayed. The days pass, but your anger does not wane. You make every effort not to let it show in front of our son. And yet you know very well that sooner or later, you will no longer be able to restrain yourself.
    I don’t know where I found the strength to confess to you that I had a lover. I knew you did not suspect at all. The circumstances of our life allowed me to hide the affair from you. Your absolute confidence in us, in me, made things all too easy.
    At first, I was sure it would be a passing fling. A minor glitch. A detour necessary for some reason or other. I felt as though I was experiencing something of no importance, that took nothing away from you. And for that reason, it seemed better not to say anything than to upset you unnecessarily. From one time to the next, I imagined myself putting an end to it, and then, from one time to the next, I couldn’t quite do it.
    You know that I was coming from her place when I had the accident. That time too, I had every intention of